Oh...It's just me.

I Figured I would get away from everyone while LTSAM was occupied and try to update the good 'ol blog.

Well where do I start. I would like to thank GG+GG Henigan for two outfits. They are six month outfits and I was shocked to find out that they fit him. So probably by the beginning of his 6th month they will be tight and not fitting. But that is two months of useable outfits right there! More clothes are still needed, we are hoping that the ex-wife doesn't get any of the next check cause it would be nice to have some money.

I was informed the other night that BTSAM comes home the end of August, so maybe a visit after he leaves? We'll have to see how the money situation is. I've devised a plan to save money and keep it that way, but that involves actually getting money in order to start saving it and sticking to my plan. The plan wont probably take into effect until after he leaves cause he needs so much stuff for this "trip" that it's not even funny.

But I have come to teh conculsion that No matter waht I want to be in maine for christmas. Maybe the 20th through the like 14th or something, so I have someone to celebrate my 21st birthday with. I am going to talk to the ex-wife about allowing me to fly the girls out for the week that I have them after christmas. They are old enough to fly by themselves, but then I realized that she enjoyed ruining this family vacation why not ruin another one. I'll compromise with her on the matter. But I will not allow her to ruin my christmas with MY BLOOD FAMILY. I'm sick of letter her ruin everything. I'm taking charge of my life and my childrens lives, One wrong move from her and it's over. She can walk all over us now all she wants, but when BTSAM is gone and she does something to bring stress onto me while I'm trying to raise an infant, it will not fly and I will have my say. Yes I will be nice and I won't do anything unless she does something first.

Yes hse goes on and on about how she just wants all this to be over and she's changed and blah blah blah. I know chicks and how they work. And I know her type. I was best friends with one through high school. I know how she works. She'll wait until after BTSAM leaves and when the timeing is right BLAM! she'll strike. It's all part of her masterfull plan to get me out of her way so she can have him back. I know she still loves him I can tell by the way she looks at him. Oh.... ::Growl:: I hate the way she looks at him. She lost her chance and now she's trying to take him from me. ::snaps fingers:: Uh uh girl friend...back off, he's my babies daddy! ::head bob:: I am tired of being walked all over and taken advantage of. Ecspecially by her. It's not going to fly any more. I know how she works. Yeah everyone has known her for 10 years blah blah blah, but I'm a chick, not to mention I was best friends with one of her type for about 4 years spending almost everyday together with her. I know how they work. Gold diggers. All they care about is the money. Nothing else. Not their children (though they may put up a good act; good enough to fool the children and everyone else.0 but not me. OH NO. She aint foolin me. Detective Nancy Drew here is on the case. Nothing gets past me. I'm not stupid. I may have blond highlights, but she aint fooling me. She wants me out of the picture so her can have BTSAM back, I bet she wants my baby too. Cause I know that if she EVER manages to get BTSAM away from me (which I know she wont cause I love him and I trust him) but IF, She will get him to fight for everything to get that baby away from me. AINT NOONE EVER TAKING MY SON AWAY FROM ME! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! I will kill who every tries to take him from me, even if it is his own father. My son will not be taken from me.

Actually in all honesty I dont have a fighting chance against BTSAM when it comes to fighting, but still. It's not like I mean literally "kill". Figuratively.

Besides I will never let a woman who knowingly hurts her daughter because she's angry Raise my son if anything should ever happen to me. In that case he would go to my mother, or probably Abbi. Abbi and my mother would raise him right and how I would want him to be raised.

To this day I will not leave ex-wifey and BTSAM in a room alone together. I trust him completely. It's HER that I dont trust one bit.

You know whats sad. And I'm a horrible person for thinking it but it's what I thought.

She got into a car accident and her car got totaled. You know what I thought when she told us. Of coarse you dont, so I'll tell you. I thought. "Too bad you lived."

Horrible I know. I immedetely mentally punished myself. "Bad Karma, Bad" I shouldn't think things like that. But she's got it coming to her. As I always say "What you do to others comes around thrice fold." I'm just awaiting the day. It's all gonna crash down on top of her, and you know what, I'm not going to reach out a hand and pull her out of the dirt. I dont care if she is the mother of two of my children. I'd probably just spit on her. Then take the girls and leave her there, laying in the dirt, crying, like she has made me do so many times.

It's coming. I just keep telling myself that. It's coming.

Her end is near. This is all going to end. And when it finally ends for good I will be happy.