Wow!

SO!

I haven't updated in a while!

Sorry... But here is my quick update before I go pick up Jess and Alex at school and then drive down to the base to pick up Jackson!

Everything has been going OK. Beside Jackson hogging the bed. He woke up laughing at me this morning because apparently I woke up in the middle of the night sat up and tried to push him over! he thought that was the funniest thing on the planet. I disagree because I almost fell off the bed last night, because he hogs the bed so much. But I love him anyways so it doesn't really matter.

This week I have been an emotional wreck. I blaim WhoreMoans. That's what i've come to call them because that's what they are giant Whores...that Moan.....

My UPS boxes arrived and alot of stuff was broken. Happily UPS is going to replace everything, but still it hurts how they treated my stuff. So I cried all day because of that.

And the next day I cried all day because we can't get bella housebroken and we are having hard time, apon research we found out that beagles are just bull headed and need beat and brought outside. She's been spending days in the crate. I feel bad but when I get sck every single time i clean up her poo, it kinda begins to stink.

And then last night I was up set and mad at jackson because he's always on the phone when he gets home from work, and it's hard to spend time with him. So I tried to be mad at him, but he does that face, with the wink and the grin and I just can't be mad at him. i learn he does it with his mother too.

But now I must go pick up Jess and Alex and then Jackson. So I must fly.


Laterz Home slizzals.

Oh my Gosh! Continued

So where was I. I suppose I could look, but I'm too lazy.

So We just ate dinner. it was kinda like beef stew, only less beefy, and noodley, and vegitablely... It was just noodles and beef i think. But it was good what I ate. i kinda grazed. I guess one of the let downs of being pregnant. You eat ALL day. not big meals, just snacks, all day long, it's good, but not good when your too lazy to get off the couhc to get something to eat.

i also made a HUGE discovery when I got out here. I've been complaining that the milk out here tastes different. I figured out why, It's homoginized. If I remember the milk in maine is just pasturized. so next time we go to teh store I'm gunna try to find a milk that isn't homoginized and see if my theory is correct. probably not but you know I'd like to try. gives me something to look forward too.

If you noticed I'm not really caring about spelling on this entry. not a big fan of grammer or spelling right now.

After dinner jack and i continued to jokingly beat on each other and bella got rowdy. Then katie decided that she wanted to walk, so I kinda just stand her up till she's got balance and then let her go. After she gets her balance she seems as if she can walk across the room without problems. till she finds something that distracts her. She's quite adorable. She calls out "Jack!" and says bella's name and then screams DOG at the top of her lungs. Quite humorous.

Well it's 8 pm and time to go home. A warning for all:


The internet at our house has been turned off because our provider has been completely difficult and lied to us, because we've had so many problems they told us that the bill for the month of august was completely taken care of on them, and so we didn't pay. Well it's been shut off due to "Non payment on the account" and we called the company to figure out why and they kept hanging up on us. So we are switching our providers and screw them all! MWAHAHAHAHA

Oh thank Gosh!!

AND I'm home!!!

It feels sooo good. Bella has grown so much I can't even believe it. I'm really happy that jack got the day off today so we got to spend the day together (somewhat). We met with pastor (that's what I call him jack calls him Chaplin -it's an army thing-) This morning for coffee and grapefruit juice (I dont drink coffee) talked about everything that is going on. At one point in the conversation Pastor asked if we were absolutely serious about getting married. Jack and I came to the conclusion that he wants to do it. lol.

Well I'm being bothered to eat dinner, jack is messing with me. I will continue the post tonight and finish an update.

MWAH!

Together, Always

For all of you who wake up in the morning, lay there for a few moments, trying to swallow the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as you wonder where your soldier is, or how he's doing...this is for you.
For all of you who start a countdown the minute he leaves, and continue to until he is back in your arms again...this is for you.
For all of you who tear up everytime "Far Away" comes on the radio, or who press repeat when "Come Home Soon" plays in their car...this one's for you.
For all of you who see Army billboards, ads in the paper, or commercials on TV and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks, this is for you.
This is for you.
I am one of you too.
This is for us.
For all the times we sleep with our phones on the loudest possible volume, just as to not miss the call that just MIGHT come...
For all the times we roll our eyes when another girl is depressed because she hasn't seen her guy in a week...
For all the times we hear our soldier's name mentioned out loud, and are momentarily frozen...in a trance...in love.
For all the late nights that we spend alone, cuddling with our stuffed animals, wearing our soldiers army sweatshirts and sweatpants, and clutching the precious dog tags around our necks...
This one's for us.
We may feel weak on the inside, but on the outside we're strong.
We may be drowning in tears on the inside, but on the outside, we are a rock.
We may want to crawl in bed and sleep until our man comes home, but instead, we get up and go on with our daily lives with our men in our hearts.
We may feel like we're slowly dying with each day we spend apart from our men, but instead, we put one foot infront of the other, and take each day as it comes.
We are strong, and we are proud.
We have more love in our hearts than we ever thought possible, and for this, we are thankful. We are thankful for our men and also for each other. We are Army gals, and we lean on each other.
Alone we are weak, but together, we are strong. We help each other, and we survive.
To all you Army gals out there, hold your head up and be proud.
We are connected, ALWAYS

I'm ready.

I'm sooo ready to go home. I miss california. But I miss Jackson most of all. This whole talking on the phone thing is doing me no good.

So there is a picture of us. There babe, there isn't just a picture of the puppy on here. lol. I woke up this morning to a text message from diane saying that she got into a huge car accident. Her car is totaled. I asked her if she was ok and she still hasn't answered me. I dont know. I supposed to be going out to lunch with her and sophie when they get out of school, so I clean and pack until then.

Wicked Cool.

Hello,

so I went to the marching band competition last night and I laughed all night long, I had forgotten how much my friends mean to me. And you know I'm not really that upset about losing my supposed "best friend" I'm kinda glad that it's over with so I don't have to deal with it anymore.

This has been on my chest for a while and I need to vent and get it off. So here goes:

The whole thing with Jessi was just stupid. I just don't understand. I know I clearly didn't try hard enough to stay in touch, but neither did she. And it's suddenly all my fault? I completely understand her reasoning for not calling; she didn't want to listen about how happy I was. But when she said that it just made me wonder if all the things she used to say about how I need someone who will treat me the way I need to be treated and make me as happy as I deserve was a bunch of crock. She clearly didn't want me to be happy, at least not happier then her. That's how I see it. The thing that hurt me the most was that was the only reason why should wouldn't call, and it kept her from calling. Now I'm not complaining now, because that's the kinda of friend I am and I'm happy that she's happy with Tyler honestly, but still I never complained when she would spend the night at my house and just wait all night long asking when Tyler was going to call. I mean yeah, we spent a lot of time together, but whenever I was on the phone and she was over I tried not to talk a lot and ask if I could call back later. But yes half the time when my phone rang she just used that 5 mins to call Tyler and talk for 30 mins. And I never complained once. Not once, because that is the kind of friend I am, because I was happy for her. I'm certainly not now after a bunch of stuff I found out about people that she cares about that she probably doesn't even know and I just await the day when she finds out. But in the e-mail/messages we sent each other it felt like all she was doing was attacking me. Saying that Jackson gives me all the money I want and everything that I want. That is completely not true. I know that all of our money right now goes into stuff that we absolutely need and to bills that we need to pay. She made it sound like I ask for hundreds of dollars and he gives it to me no matter what. That's not even the case even now that I'm visiting in Maine, the money that comes out of the bank goes towards everything I need to get back home (shipping packages, gas in my mom's car) I think I've spent a total of $50.00 on my self since I've gotten here and that is mostly for food, and the new pair of pants I bought cause I can't fit into any of my others ones. So another reason why should couldn't call me was cause she was working all the time at the bank and at the gym and she didn't get home until late. I felt that was kinda weak considering Grady someone I barely hung out with when I lived in Maine would call me every night on his way home from work when he got out of work at 1 am, just to see how things were going. So I felt that it was just an excuse and she just didn't want to talk to me anymore, and I'm completely over that I just need to get all of this off my chest because it's been built up inside. So after she tells me she's working all the time she complains about how short they are for money. I don't know, I know that she own her college money and she hasn't said anything about working and from what I've talked to Tyler he's going to school and he didn't say anything about working, so from what I gather she's the only one with money coming in and she states that all of her entire checks are going to paying back her college. So how is she paying for the wedding? last I knew her parents couldn't help because they are buying a house which left her and Tyler for paying for the entire wedding and she's complaining about money. Seriously? I always thought the sensible thing to do when you got engaged was to not fly by the seat of your pants cause weddings aren't cheap, and when your so strapped for cash why would you put everything in to your wedding when your gonna have bills to pay and everything. But that is none of my business. I just thought about the future and pros and con's of getting married much harder then she has. But then again, I don't know because she never discussed her fears of the wedding with me just planning and how happy she was so i figured they had everything figured out. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. I'll never know.

We'll all be out here for Christmas. Jack, Me, Bella. And hopefully Jess and Alex. But we wont be going to their wedding, because we both feel that it's a disaster waiting to happen. I honestly give them 6 months to a year before they get divorced. They've never lived alone together and before august they were physically with each other for a total of a month, maybe a little more. but their relationship was all about the phone. and I know from experience that it's just not the same.

And now that I've gotten that completely off my chest I can continue with my perfectly happy life, in which I'm slowly (but surely) weeding out all the people who want to see me drown.

The thing that tells me that I've changed for the better is:

I'm not crying over losing her. I didn't attack her or yell at her. I handled the situation like an adult (having almost lost it but maintained my posture) and I'm happy she's out of my life. Because I need friends I can count on to be there for me. And she clearly cannot be there for me.

So to Jessica.

R.I.P

We are no longer friends and I am happy that way. I am a better person for it.

Wicked fun!

So yeah,

Hello all. This is my blog thingy. I created it to stay in touch with everyone who wants to stay in touch with me, they can just read this and know what is going on! brilliant eh? I'd say.

I'm not going to lie I have absolutely no idea on how to start this.

I was born and raised in Maine by my wonderful allergic mother (I say she's allergic to everything...) I now live in California with my boyfriend/fiance (I'll just call him foyce) hahaha. I think I'm funny when I'm usually not, but that is how I am. We have a crazy dog named Bella.

That's her and her "I'm-cute-but-if-you-look-I-pooped-in-your-closet-but-i-love-you-so-it's-OK-mom" face. She's just too cute. We are expecting our first child (a shock to us both and the rest of the world, but hey nothing that I can do about it). We want it to be a boy, but just because of that it's going to be a girl. We are looking to getting married next spring, a small ring ceremony (save the big one from when he gets back from Afghanistan) I think. I could be wrong. we kinda talked about it. hahaha.

It's raining right now. In Maine. I haven't seen rain in 3 months. Jack says just wait it will rain and I'll wanna tear my hair out. Yeah right, like I would tear my awesome hair out. I love my hair. It was a million feet long but cut it all off so it's like a foot long now! hahahaha take that California heat!

I'm sitting here waiting for the clock to hit 11:30 so I can set out into the world and make my way towards the school and go to the marching band competition. I'm addicted. It's like my drug, if I could I would surround myself with marching band all day and all night long. It's such a high. It's addicting. And I'm not a crack fiend. But I guess I should try to find something else to do and make this the end of my official first post!