This is a song, by Carrie Underwood. I love it right now, but I hope that it never happens to me. With the Deployment coming up this song pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now about the deployment, and as time flys by and I spend the possibly (but hopefully not) Last days with my husband, I have turned to listening to songs that inspire me. You can find the music video on Youtube, under Carrie Underwood "Just a Dream" But here are the Lyrics.
It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hand
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah
so yeah, I wont be able to post for a few days, but I'm sure y'all are used to that.
P.S On my visiter map I notice alot of "regulars" that I dont know. If you could all just post a Comment stating if you want who you are, first names only please, and if I know you or not. That would be great. Even if I do know you, It would be nice ot have some comments. ;-)
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Stop that Rhyming this Instant I mean it.....Any body want a Peanut?
So no, I've never had nuts on my smores either, but I don't like nuts, but I bet they taste amazing when your autistic though!
So we are in the 'process' of moving.
If that's what you really want to call it you can, It's more like a group of people just throwing things into brown boxes and moving them into a Kinda Big But Not Small Locked Room (KBBNSLR) where the objects will collect dust, until they themselves are collected.
I'm in the 'process' of sending stuff to El' Maine-o.
If you think by 'process' I'm putting stuff and sending it your wrong. The three boxes sit inside the KBBNSLR where they await removal to be put into a singular big box to be shipped off to Maine closer to the date that I will be arriving.
But all baggage is packed and ready to go to Texas.
BTSAVAKAD thinks that Texas and Maine are the only two states that aren't actually states but part of another world. I told him Maine is not part of Canada. He doesn't believe me.
Did you ever Hear about this crazy little Disease called Malaria?
I'm extremely troubled by this.
I've heard of Malaria, but I've never REALLY heard about it. Until I went to Travis Air force Base.
It's a horrible horrible disease. With symptoms including, but not limited to; fever, shivering, arthraglia (fancy word for your knees hurt), vomiting, anemia {caused by hemolysis (another fancy word for your red blood cells bursting open and spilling hemoglobin into the surrounding fluids. nasty I know)}, hemogloinuria (Fancy word for peeing blood.), and convulsions.
It's found in 106 nations of the world, half of the worlds population has or will be infected. It is said that this year alone, Malaria will infect half a billion people, killing a million, most of them under five and living in Africa. There are numerous types of Malaria, each more deadly then the last. Most leaving Neurological damage if survived. They catch it from the female Mosquito of the genus Anopheles, male mosquitoes don't drink blood. It's transported from their saliva.
How is the Mosquitoes saliva get into our bloodstream you ask? It's very simple actually, when the mosquito drills into our skin (which is what she actually does, she doesn't prick us, she drills with a digger like tool.) she spits onto the skin surrounding the hole to keep the blood of coagulating. Fifty thousand of the Malaria carrying parasite (that's right parasite) can fit into a period at the end of my sentence with room to move around. If a single twinkie was a single malaria parasite it would take 2,500 boxes of twinkies, to have 50,000 twinkies. Now usually it's prodicted that only a couple dozen of this little bad boys actually get into the blood stream, but when in all reality it only takes one little sucker. That is where it is transferred, in the saliva where the parasites crawl into the bloodstream and attaches themselves to a red blood cell where they start their journey to the liver. There the parasites stop and attach themselves to a liver cell. They eat and distroy the cell, then multiply, then each of those little babies go to another cell and complete the same process, eating the entire cell and then multiplying thousands of times. It isn't until they are released back into the blood stream that the human body finally realizes it's under attack. i.e fever.
I bet you are all thinking, well there are antidotes for it, right?
Wrong. There are two known antidotes to keep you from getting it, but even now, a more deadly version of malaria has broken out and is immune to the medicians that we have come up with.
That is what bothers me. All the poor countrys that can't afford regular hospitals and protection against this disease is what get it. When Malaria broke out in the United States in the fortys, The Us drained all the southern wetlands and contained the disease to rid our country of it. Europe did the same thing when it broke out there. So why can't the world pitch in and help these countrys that's children are dying everyday? Who knows?
What I do know is that out of a year study of 1,000 children in Africa, there were 1,353 cases of Malaria. That's right more then 100% percent of the children had Malaria at least once.
That's my rant for the day, something for you to think about.
So we are in the 'process' of moving.
If that's what you really want to call it you can, It's more like a group of people just throwing things into brown boxes and moving them into a Kinda Big But Not Small Locked Room (KBBNSLR) where the objects will collect dust, until they themselves are collected.
I'm in the 'process' of sending stuff to El' Maine-o.
If you think by 'process' I'm putting stuff and sending it your wrong. The three boxes sit inside the KBBNSLR where they await removal to be put into a singular big box to be shipped off to Maine closer to the date that I will be arriving.
But all baggage is packed and ready to go to Texas.
BTSAVAKAD thinks that Texas and Maine are the only two states that aren't actually states but part of another world. I told him Maine is not part of Canada. He doesn't believe me.
Did you ever Hear about this crazy little Disease called Malaria?
I'm extremely troubled by this.
I've heard of Malaria, but I've never REALLY heard about it. Until I went to Travis Air force Base.
It's a horrible horrible disease. With symptoms including, but not limited to; fever, shivering, arthraglia (fancy word for your knees hurt), vomiting, anemia {caused by hemolysis (another fancy word for your red blood cells bursting open and spilling hemoglobin into the surrounding fluids. nasty I know)}, hemogloinuria (Fancy word for peeing blood.), and convulsions.
It's found in 106 nations of the world, half of the worlds population has or will be infected. It is said that this year alone, Malaria will infect half a billion people, killing a million, most of them under five and living in Africa. There are numerous types of Malaria, each more deadly then the last. Most leaving Neurological damage if survived. They catch it from the female Mosquito of the genus Anopheles, male mosquitoes don't drink blood. It's transported from their saliva.
How is the Mosquitoes saliva get into our bloodstream you ask? It's very simple actually, when the mosquito drills into our skin (which is what she actually does, she doesn't prick us, she drills with a digger like tool.) she spits onto the skin surrounding the hole to keep the blood of coagulating. Fifty thousand of the Malaria carrying parasite (that's right parasite) can fit into a period at the end of my sentence with room to move around. If a single twinkie was a single malaria parasite it would take 2,500 boxes of twinkies, to have 50,000 twinkies. Now usually it's prodicted that only a couple dozen of this little bad boys actually get into the blood stream, but when in all reality it only takes one little sucker. That is where it is transferred, in the saliva where the parasites crawl into the bloodstream and attaches themselves to a red blood cell where they start their journey to the liver. There the parasites stop and attach themselves to a liver cell. They eat and distroy the cell, then multiply, then each of those little babies go to another cell and complete the same process, eating the entire cell and then multiplying thousands of times. It isn't until they are released back into the blood stream that the human body finally realizes it's under attack. i.e fever.
I bet you are all thinking, well there are antidotes for it, right?
Wrong. There are two known antidotes to keep you from getting it, but even now, a more deadly version of malaria has broken out and is immune to the medicians that we have come up with.
That is what bothers me. All the poor countrys that can't afford regular hospitals and protection against this disease is what get it. When Malaria broke out in the United States in the fortys, The Us drained all the southern wetlands and contained the disease to rid our country of it. Europe did the same thing when it broke out there. So why can't the world pitch in and help these countrys that's children are dying everyday? Who knows?
What I do know is that out of a year study of 1,000 children in Africa, there were 1,353 cases of Malaria. That's right more then 100% percent of the children had Malaria at least once.
That's my rant for the day, something for you to think about.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Let's cook s'mores at the nut house!!!
O.K So I still object to this "new" blogger. Blah.
Things are just plain heckic around here. I'm sure everyday in order to calm myself down I have to leave the room, and let my head spin around 360 degrees. You know, all exorcist like, Minus the vomiting.
We are in the confusing process of moving to Colorado. If that's what you want to call it.
I've come to the point where I just agree with everything, just to stay out of the way. Which seems to have made my mood less then pleasureable. I guess something about the quiet "me" they dont like. You know the me that I used to be when I was drugged up on Adderall for the ADHD that I convinced myself I never really had. blah blah blah. They haven't really noticed that since they brought out the Loud, Obnoxious, Mouthy Sam, that the quiet, artistic (ARTistic, not AUTistic. JERKS) Sam has been on reserve for the potentually really stressful moments, where she comes out to keep the stress enduced palpitations from starting, (which are indeed slightly painful, and a HUGE pain in the tooshie. Lots of wires and heart monitors, blah blah blah.)
Side note: I soooo just found a quicker way for bolding and italisizing things. After you type it, if you highlight it and then press what you want it to be, it does it! AMAZING!
So I've reverted to the quiet artisitc me, but because of all the packing and everything I haven't really been able to pull out the artistic side. All I've been able to do is draw a picture of a dress which sits away from everyones eyes. I think
All I really know is that I'm going to Texas Sept. 2 for a while until Big Tough Strong Army Veteran Also Known As Dad BTSAVAKAD for short gets a place to live. BTSAM, BTSAM's Mom, Katie, Jarrid and I are going to Texas to stay with Aunt Laurie, who lives in northern Texas. The most exciting part about this trip? Aunt Laurie's Husband Richard has a Horse! It stays in their backyard with the donkey. I have to talk to Richard about it, Aunt Laurie said, but I'm hoping I get to go riding. Expend some of my extra energy that I can't seem to find a way to get it out. Besides, it would be nice to talk to a horse again. It's been years since I've been close enough for one to say anything to me, the last time was in Gunstock, when I was camping with my madre and the owner of the horses let me go over the fence and go see the horses, while he and my mom talked. A big Greyish White (I think he was just really dirty) horse came up to me and just started talking into my head. Well I dont really know if it's considered "talking". I've never really looked into it, I kinda always just shrugged it off as an over active imaginationm maybe that is why I've never told anyone about this. I just kinda feel what they are feeling. Maybe I'm just psycotic and should just go and check myself into the looney bin. I dont know, I just think I'm crazy. BTSAM just proved the point as ot why I've never told anyone. He just Laughed at me. Even now I'm contemplating deleting the whole thing.
Things are just plain heckic around here. I'm sure everyday in order to calm myself down I have to leave the room, and let my head spin around 360 degrees. You know, all exorcist like, Minus the vomiting.
We are in the confusing process of moving to Colorado. If that's what you want to call it.
I've come to the point where I just agree with everything, just to stay out of the way. Which seems to have made my mood less then pleasureable. I guess something about the quiet "me" they dont like. You know the me that I used to be when I was drugged up on Adderall for the ADHD that I convinced myself I never really had. blah blah blah. They haven't really noticed that since they brought out the Loud, Obnoxious, Mouthy Sam, that the quiet, artistic (ARTistic, not AUTistic. JERKS) Sam has been on reserve for the potentually really stressful moments, where she comes out to keep the stress enduced palpitations from starting, (which are indeed slightly painful, and a HUGE pain in the tooshie. Lots of wires and heart monitors, blah blah blah.)
Side note: I soooo just found a quicker way for bolding and italisizing things. After you type it, if you highlight it and then press what you want it to be, it does it! AMAZING!
So I've reverted to the quiet artisitc me, but because of all the packing and everything I haven't really been able to pull out the artistic side. All I've been able to do is draw a picture of a dress which sits away from everyones eyes. I think
All I really know is that I'm going to Texas Sept. 2 for a while until Big Tough Strong Army Veteran Also Known As Dad BTSAVAKAD for short gets a place to live. BTSAM, BTSAM's Mom, Katie, Jarrid and I are going to Texas to stay with Aunt Laurie, who lives in northern Texas. The most exciting part about this trip? Aunt Laurie's Husband Richard has a Horse! It stays in their backyard with the donkey. I have to talk to Richard about it, Aunt Laurie said, but I'm hoping I get to go riding. Expend some of my extra energy that I can't seem to find a way to get it out. Besides, it would be nice to talk to a horse again. It's been years since I've been close enough for one to say anything to me, the last time was in Gunstock, when I was camping with my madre and the owner of the horses let me go over the fence and go see the horses, while he and my mom talked. A big Greyish White (I think he was just really dirty) horse came up to me and just started talking into my head. Well I dont really know if it's considered "talking". I've never really looked into it, I kinda always just shrugged it off as an over active imaginationm maybe that is why I've never told anyone about this. I just kinda feel what they are feeling. Maybe I'm just psycotic and should just go and check myself into the looney bin. I dont know, I just think I'm crazy. BTSAM just proved the point as ot why I've never told anyone. He just Laughed at me. Even now I'm contemplating deleting the whole thing.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
La dee da
I'm so stil not liking this "new" blogger thing. Not enough work. Or is it too much work? hmmm.
LTSAM just had his bath time and lots of pictures were taken. I'm currently uploading them to Photobucket so ya'll can see the pictures. I'm having a hard time with this uploading thing, but I'm trying.
Well you can see the wonderful pictures
Just clikc on the picture.
The whole time of trying to get these pictures to you I keep discovering that the picture is just to big. Maybe I should try editing them on photobucket to be smaller. Nah. It's to big. Just click on it to see the rest.
LTSAM just had his bath time and lots of pictures were taken. I'm currently uploading them to Photobucket so ya'll can see the pictures. I'm having a hard time with this uploading thing, but I'm trying.
Well you can see the wonderful pictures
Just clikc on the picture.
The whole time of trying to get these pictures to you I keep discovering that the picture is just to big. Maybe I should try editing them on photobucket to be smaller. Nah. It's to big. Just click on it to see the rest.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Slight vent session. Among other things.
hmm. I was just looking at the blogger window thingy for making my post "me". I think we need to start a search party for the "lost Icons and drop down lists".
I mean where is the little drop down menu where you can cleverly choose from the list of 5 or 6 fonts you can creatively make your post with? on vacation appearently.
Ah! This is so last year. I choose the little Italic button and instead of instantly changing the entire post to italic like it used to, little geek words appeared and I had to fill in the blanks. How fun is it when you can't waist your time editing your blogith to look like you want it too?
And WHERE ((?!?!)) is the three boxes you can click that have the lines on them which designates where your lettering goes?! This is beyond crazy!
My post is not me now!!! I can't even change the color of my font. Obviously it wont be any fun to read this. Cause it clearly isn't fun to type any more.
But other then that.
Life is dandy. If you like the stressful, want to rip your hair out kind of life.
Our trip to Maine was thwarted this month by the wicked witch of the west and her accomplises the Department of Child Support Services. Take a moment to shreak and run about running for cover like a chicken with your had cut off. I will.
Ok back from running and shreaking.
Alas as much as I have tried to use my powers for good. Hard I know, Someone as powerful as I, it's hard to control.
But there are more corrupt powers at hand. Or powers that are corrupting innocents. The innocents happen to be two blond hair, blue eyed girls. The Powers you ask?
The Wicked Witch of the West. We'll call her WWW for effect. And no, that is not a fat joke pertaining to the World Wide Web. You jerks.
The how the corrupting is happening you ask? Just by association.
Not possible you say? Oh but it's true.
There are days in my superhero world when I just want to take everyone and burn them to a crisp with my laser eyes. Oh. If only it was that easy.
But no, I must sit back and bite my tongue for everytime I voice my opinion or how I feel about a situation I feel like it is always the wrong opinion OR the wrong way to feel. Being bossed around and treated like a two year by an eight year old and an eleven year old, when no one else is around isn't exactly something that i look forward too. And even worse at that is I feel like noone believes me that I get treated like this. Cause noone is around to witness it.
So that leaves me to defend myself and take care of my self, because when I do stand up and assurt my rules, some how it always comes back on me and I'm the bad guy.
take for instance yesterday. Both children were wearing dresses, but proceeded to lounge around like hoochies with thier legs wide open. I told them numerous times all day that if they could sit like ladies they wouldn't wear dresses until they could sit like one. well as BTSAM got home I caught the youngest sitting with her legs on the couch with her butt, her legs spread wide open, everything out in the air. I told her to sit right and she wasn't going to wear dresses until she learned to sit right. What does she do? Run to daddy and tell him these words. "remind me to bring all my dresses to mom's house cause I'm not allowed to wear them any more."
Fine make me look like the piece of shit. They always do it any ways. Turn every thing around to make me the bad guy even though they dont say why they were being punished. And noone ever asks them. no not a "well what did you do to make it so this was said?" it's always. "Well that's bullshit, don't listen to it."
Fine. What ever. I'll just tend to my own kid. I can't control any others that don't want to respect me or even want to be controlled. They can do what they want now. They win.
I mean where is the little drop down menu where you can cleverly choose from the list of 5 or 6 fonts you can creatively make your post with? on vacation appearently.
Ah! This is so last year. I choose the little Italic button and instead of instantly changing the entire post to italic like it used to, little geek words appeared and I had to fill in the blanks. How fun is it when you can't waist your time editing your blogith to look like you want it too?
And WHERE ((?!?!)) is the three boxes you can click that have the lines on them which designates where your lettering goes?! This is beyond crazy!
My post is not me now!!! I can't even change the color of my font. Obviously it wont be any fun to read this. Cause it clearly isn't fun to type any more.
But other then that.
Life is dandy. If you like the stressful, want to rip your hair out kind of life.
Our trip to Maine was thwarted this month by the wicked witch of the west and her accomplises the Department of Child Support Services. Take a moment to shreak and run about running for cover like a chicken with your had cut off. I will.
Ok back from running and shreaking.
Alas as much as I have tried to use my powers for good. Hard I know, Someone as powerful as I, it's hard to control.
But there are more corrupt powers at hand. Or powers that are corrupting innocents. The innocents happen to be two blond hair, blue eyed girls. The Powers you ask?
The Wicked Witch of the West. We'll call her WWW for effect. And no, that is not a fat joke pertaining to the World Wide Web. You jerks.
The how the corrupting is happening you ask? Just by association.
Not possible you say? Oh but it's true.
There are days in my superhero world when I just want to take everyone and burn them to a crisp with my laser eyes. Oh. If only it was that easy.
But no, I must sit back and bite my tongue for everytime I voice my opinion or how I feel about a situation I feel like it is always the wrong opinion OR the wrong way to feel. Being bossed around and treated like a two year by an eight year old and an eleven year old, when no one else is around isn't exactly something that i look forward too. And even worse at that is I feel like noone believes me that I get treated like this. Cause noone is around to witness it.
So that leaves me to defend myself and take care of my self, because when I do stand up and assurt my rules, some how it always comes back on me and I'm the bad guy.
take for instance yesterday. Both children were wearing dresses, but proceeded to lounge around like hoochies with thier legs wide open. I told them numerous times all day that if they could sit like ladies they wouldn't wear dresses until they could sit like one. well as BTSAM got home I caught the youngest sitting with her legs on the couch with her butt, her legs spread wide open, everything out in the air. I told her to sit right and she wasn't going to wear dresses until she learned to sit right. What does she do? Run to daddy and tell him these words. "remind me to bring all my dresses to mom's house cause I'm not allowed to wear them any more."
Fine make me look like the piece of shit. They always do it any ways. Turn every thing around to make me the bad guy even though they dont say why they were being punished. And noone ever asks them. no not a "well what did you do to make it so this was said?" it's always. "Well that's bullshit, don't listen to it."
Fine. What ever. I'll just tend to my own kid. I can't control any others that don't want to respect me or even want to be controlled. They can do what they want now. They win.
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