Let's Talk....

Good morning kids!

The word of the day today is.....::insert pathetic drumroll:: TRUST!

Say it with me kids.....Truuuusssst.


Sorry about the sarcasm. You know the more and more I realise it i can't really trust anyone.
I'm just gunna get hurt. I always do. I don't know why I'm thinking like this. Maybe because I just recently found out that my EX best friend tried to get MY boyfriend to cheat on me with her while he was visiting. AND she's ENGAGED!!!! Talk about being faithful. Ever since he told me that I haven't been able to get it out of my head, and realise why they didn't hang out after that. It seems to me that he is TRULY the only person that I can REALLY trust right now. I know it's not true and there are other people, but that's how I feel right now and I've really tried to just forget about it, but then it just makes me think. I'm and certainly not turning myself into the victim. It's just how I feel right now. I mean I would have fucking died for that girl. Sorry about the language but that seems to be the only word that could describe how I feel right now. And I feel that everyone needs to know how I feel. I am not lying when I say I would have died for her, I would have; but it seems that she wouldn't have done the same for me.
I don't think I wouldn't be so depressed about it if I could find another friend like. I'm not gunna lie, she may have moved on and yes she may have tons of other friends but what about me? I have absolutely no friends out here. No one that I can hang out with on a daily basis and not get sick of them. Yes I've gained and lost friends, but I've never been so devastated about losing one. Mostly because I find out that she didn't care the same about me. I never had sisters growing up, I never had brothers. I've been a complete softy my entire life and let people run all over me. And I get hurt from it.

Why do I let myself become so attached to people; only to get hurt in the end. Maybe it's the hormones talking, but I really hurt about this. Am I wrong? And I sit here in front of the computer pouring my heart into this and the tears are burning my face. Why would I care so much, she's the one that severed the cord, she's the one that didn't want to be friends anymore, and she's clearly not hurt about it; So why am I so upset about it. Why does it seem that no body else in this world can be as good of a friend she was when we were friends. And that is even if we were ever really "Friends" I considered her my sister, what did she think of me?

These are questions that I know will never be answered and I know I must just move on, but how can I?


but i am the best guy in the world so go fuck yourself other guys
^Jackson's note to the world.