See what I made! Yay me! I made it for Jackson and e-mailed it to him.


So it's new years eve. I don't know what I'm doing. I kinda wanna go to Abbi's but I don't..so I don't know, If I go to Abbi's I'd have to stay the night and I don't want to up but don't want to be driving around late tonight.

I really hope we go to Auntie Alica's tonight, I think that it would be allot of fun but I doubt that we will go cause I don't think they are going to call back.

So I went to the movies the other day with Auntie Ann and my mom. We went to see I am Legend it was a really good movie. Will Smith shirtless doing chin ups....yum... (I mean...ew...boy germs...)

Then this morning I watched Transformers! That movie kicked ass! (excuse the french)
It rocked my socks off, I was happy that I finally got to see it.

So tomorrow is 2008! WoOt! I'm going clothes shopping with grammy cause I'm a fat kid and have no clothes to fit me. I'm gunna see if she will get me the shirt that says "touch the belly lose a hand" cause I feel that I need it.

well I'm going to help my mom cook dinner.

I Keel You!

Ok so just incase anyone doesn't know I am in Maine!


With out jackson which sucks because I miss him, but we had a really good phone conversation last night/this morning, that made me happy.

I woke up this morning feeling like CRAP! But after getting up and walking around my sinuses have drained and my throut feels better.

So today I'm going to the movies with my aunt ann and my mom. I think that who's all going. We're going to see I am Legend. I can't wait I've been wanting to see that movie so badly.

Last night was fun. A bunch of my friends got together and we all hung out at abbi's apartment. I was having fun until her roommate Nate showed up with two girls. That's when I got insecure. So everyone started drinking and I just sat there (I tasted some white wine, to see what it tasted like, wasn't bad, but not for me. The smell made me want to vomit.) and watched everyone. I mostly sat in one spot, not really wanting any attention on me. Then a bunch of stoners showed up and that's when stuff got crazy. Everyone went to have a cigerette outside and I guess some girl started yelling at Grady. That's when Mark, Mariah, Lindsey and I were like it's time to go. So we packed up grady and went out to the car. None of us were ready to go home so we went to dennys. Before leaving lindsey desided that she wanted to test out the ground. We laughed for like 15 mins as lindsey layed on the ground having slipped on some black ice. So on our way to denny's the Two way radio in the car randomly turned on. I had to pull over so Mark and I could figure out how to turn it back off. It took us a while. So we laughed that off and made our way back towards dennys. Finally we arrived at dennys and had a great time. We talked about alot of stuff, that people are going through and everything that is going on gossip wise and wiether it was true or not. So after I brought mark back to his car and he brought lindsey home and I brought grady home cause it was on the way. (We had dropped mariah off before going to dennys) and then I came home and talked to jackson.

We talked about stuff that had pissed me off that night and I told him what we talked about and my pet peeves.
Here's what went down.

Before Leaving abbi's I had stood up from my place on the floor and went to grab my coat, I hadn't adjusted my clothes from sitting on the floor yet. As I reached to get my coat Nate looked at me and said "Pull up your shirt." I just looked at him and I wanted to slap him, I mean first of all why are you looking at my boobs (Yes they are huge and hard to miss now but still) and two where do you come off telling me what to do, We had already announced that we were leaving, I had my coat in my hand getting ready to put it on. I just looked at him and said "No, It will just fall down again." That made me soo mad.

And then at Dennys Mark and Grady pointed out what I have been noticeing but I didn't know If I was just being weird. It seems that every guy we pass he stares at me. I'm about ready to tweek out. The next person I see staring at me that I dont know I'm gunna kill. Blaim the hormones I hate it.

Anouther thing I hate. People touching my stomach without asking. That pisses me off. I'm going to get the shirt at spencers that says touch the stomach loose a hand, because I'm tired of people touching me. Drives me nuts. I was ok with it early on in my pregnancy but now it seems likes everyone is invading my personal space. And it's not everyone I hate doing. I love it when jackson does it, I'd let him do it all day. Mariah, Grady and Mark dont bother me when they do it either. They have all asked. Leslie and the girls at work have asked before doing. That doesn't bother me, but when people just reach out and start rubbing my stomach I want to rip their hands off! AHHHH!!! Exspecially the people who get this crazy look in their eyes when they do it, I'm like "Ok...time to back off now." It seems like my personal space has become everyone's property. It sucks.

Well that is my post I'm sure I will post again before I leave if not I will update when I get home.


Thank you to everyone for the wonderful christmas presents, I'm being pesterd by sargeant to rub his tummy.

Thank bella, and IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!

So I'm finally in the christmas spirit. I found it at choir while singing various christmas songs. i can't wait for christmas because i can't wait to give jackson what I got him. I'm happy that I have a job, because it means so much to me for me to be able to buy presents for people I care about, with my own money that I have earned.

So tomorrow i get paid, and i am going to finish my christmas shopping. (I'm sorry family in maine, but I'm getting you gift cards so I can fly them all out there...minus sargeant cause I already got his...heehee)

We bought the plane tickets and everything is settled. I am arriving in boston at 5:57 am on the 27th of december! YAY!

And I'm staying till the 3rd of january.

Now other News.


Have I mentioned that I absolutely LOVE my dog?

Yesterday was probally the absolute worst day of my life.

Well jackson had to take his Department of corrections test (which he passed! YAY! means new job!) so he had to leave at 6 am. When we woke up at 5:00 am, our front door was open. (creepy.)
Earlier that morning I heard bella growling and just assumed she was growling in her sleep. So jackson left and I went about my normal daily buisness. (Eating, sleeping and cleaning) Well when I let bella out of her crate at about 10:30 she immeadetely went to the girls' bedroom door (which is always closed when they are not home) and was growling and scratching at the door. I ignored this, figured it was a puppy thing and if she really wanted in the room she would jump up and open the door. ( a new talent we discovered she had ) I went about my buisness of cleaning. Bella was extremely cuddly all day and growling at the door. i rolled my eyes and continued cleaning, until I went to do laundry.

our washer and dryer and right next to the girls bedroom, so I walked down the hall way towards the door. That's when bella went nuts. She has developed a new habit of body slamming into the back of my legs. She did that a couple of times and growled angerly at the door and scratched at it. that's when I looked at her then the door and said.
"What are you so upset about, see there is nothing in there" at that point I slammed down the door handle and the door swung open to reveal a man sitting on the girls bed. When the door opened he jumped up like I startled him and I ran in to jackson and I's bedroom and locked the door.

I called the cops and they arrived, the front door was open, and they figureprinted the entire house. Needless to say we are moving as soon as I find a place. I refuse to live there anymore.

so that is what's going on, I need to find something to eat.

Ho ho ho?

So I'm not really in the christmas spirit. I'm actually honestly not really looking forward to it. I was talking to Leslie (YES! I made a friend out here! Who I hang out with outside of work!!!) and she suggested it was because everything is gunna be new this year and I'm preparing myself for the unexpected.

I really can't wait to come home. We've been keeping track of plane ticket prices and they seem to keep going down. (???) It definately looks like it's just going to be me because if both of us dont work one week it would really hurt us. He said maybe if we get into the cheaper apartments we've been trying to get into and have enough money to pay january rent, plus extra for another plane ticket he would come out too. I pray every night for a miracle.

The past couple of weeks I've been a very angry person. I dont really know why and I've been trying to control it. Everything seems to make me angry. Then I get really sad because I was mad for no reason and I start crying, and blah blah blah. time to put on the "Man Boots"as jackson would say.

i feel bad for him. He's put up with me so much, and I dont even know how to thank him. he puts up with my attitude and when he knows I'm about to snap he pushes those buttons to make me snap so that it will happen and I wont be a grump all day. I still feel bad.

And on top of it all, my body has gone completely nocturnal. And by completely i mean I get 5 hours of sleep A DAY. and by a day i mean I dont fall asleep untill the sun is up. I sleep from 5 am to 10:30 am and I am fully awake and ready to go. Weird.

So my last doctors appointment i got the ok to fly and everything is good. I weigh a total of 133.4 lbs. the most I've ever weighed in my life. Shocking I know. Jarrid is good at practicing his football punting and likes to drag his feet along the bottom of my stomach. (alot of people are shocked that I am carrying so low so early. i used to be able to wear regular jeans. Nope sot anymore. Only maturnity pants because Jarrid is resting so low I can't even button regular pants like i used to. the good thing about maturnity pants. No buttons or zippers, just pull them up and go. And my butt looks great! why can't regular jeans be like that?!?!

So jackson's birthday is on monday. the big 3-0! old fart. lol. I dont know what I'm going to do. Cook dinner probally. I switched shifts with one of the girls at work so I can be home when he gets home.

well I'm bored and can't think of anything else to write about.

buh bye!

things to do.

Well we didn't get a chance to get to the bank before it closed so we didn't get the plane tickets.


And sadly it looks like only I will be coming out. As upset as I am about flying by myself and not haveing jackson there I might as well get over it because we dont even have the extra money to fly me out there, so how were we expecting to fly us both? The fact that we are using the money we dont have to fly me out I am very greatful for. but it still sucks. Both of us cant miss a week of unpaid vacation, it would just be to hard on us. And with the struggle we are having now it's just been hard.

On top of everything we are looking for a new place to live, because we can't afford the crazy rent we are paying now, but everywhere we are looking rent is more then what we are paying now. We make to much money for the Low Income houseing, and we dont make enough for the regular houseing. It just doesn't seem like we are ever going to catch a break. it seems like all of our checks go towards rent and Aarons (the place that keeps threatening to take our furniture away because we are always late on payment). the other bills we have no problem with.

And i know what happened too. it was the month or two that jackson's asshole boss decided that he was gunna give jackson as little work as possible so he will quit cause he's too good of a worker to fire. that's what did it for us. We're still trying to catch from that. We are catching up though and by the end of december we will be caught up.

And dont even get me on the topic of my work. I love all of the girls there but my boss. If I didn't just smile and nod all the time her and i would not get along. The fact that when I started working there I told her that I could work occasional nights, but I would like to work during the day and only on weekends that jackson has drill. She took it as I'm only going to schedual you for nights, and your going to work every weekend no matter what. and apparently I'm not the only one haveing problems with her schedualing because I've never voiced my opinion on the schedualing to her, because I've listened to her tweek out on one of the new girls (ann) for saying she can't work saturdays and Cheryl(my boss) wants her to only work saturdays.
I'm not using this as an excuse, but I told her i could only work days because that is when I have the most energy. but now I work everynight until 8 and that means by the time I get home to have dinner, and relax, so my heart doesn't pound out ofmy chest when I lay down for bed it's 10:30, 11:00 at night and I'm exasted so I sleep the next day until noon, and I dont get any house work or anything done because I wake up and have to start getting ready for work so i can be there by 2:50 so I can get all situated. And by the time i get there Christina(the other receptionist) just looks at me the minute I walk through the door and says "you can clock in so we can do shift change cause I have a hair appointment" or whatever her excuse is that time. I'm like whatever more money, but still the minute I walk through the door. I dont get there early so she can leave I get there early so i'm not late and I have time to wind down and go into work mode so I dont snap at anyone.

and on top of that we have the gas sucker of a truck who we are now putting 100.00 in every four days so we can get around and we just dont have the money. and with gas prices still going up and getting closer to 4 dollars I'm like Damn get rid of this thing and get a car. the whole 13 miles a gallon thing is killing us. and i HATE driving cause it has too much power for me. call me a wimp but that truck scares me. and I hate driving in teh rain out here cause all the truck does is skid and spin it's tires. that's it.

Well I've vented somewhat and I'm going to relax, because my stomach hurts.

Homers!

We are looking at plane tickets!

We are purchasing on friday!

So far the itinerary is:

Leaving San Fransico the night of the 26th and arriving in boston mass the morning of the 27th (around 7:30 am) We may or maynot need to be picked up, jackson keeps saying if he's going to maine he wants a four wheel drive vehical. (something about wearing his puss and boots and not wanting to go in the snow...Wah...)

Then we will be leaving the late afternoon of the 3rd and arriving back in sunny california late the night of the 3rd.

So yes we are coming home!!! YAY!

I can't wait to see everyone!

P.S i am in desperate need of addresses, any of my friends that read this if you could leave me your address either facebook or myspace that would be great.


Love you all.


OH and my phone is working again!

See you all soon!

i can't wait!