things to do.

Well we didn't get a chance to get to the bank before it closed so we didn't get the plane tickets.


And sadly it looks like only I will be coming out. As upset as I am about flying by myself and not haveing jackson there I might as well get over it because we dont even have the extra money to fly me out there, so how were we expecting to fly us both? The fact that we are using the money we dont have to fly me out I am very greatful for. but it still sucks. Both of us cant miss a week of unpaid vacation, it would just be to hard on us. And with the struggle we are having now it's just been hard.

On top of everything we are looking for a new place to live, because we can't afford the crazy rent we are paying now, but everywhere we are looking rent is more then what we are paying now. We make to much money for the Low Income houseing, and we dont make enough for the regular houseing. It just doesn't seem like we are ever going to catch a break. it seems like all of our checks go towards rent and Aarons (the place that keeps threatening to take our furniture away because we are always late on payment). the other bills we have no problem with.

And i know what happened too. it was the month or two that jackson's asshole boss decided that he was gunna give jackson as little work as possible so he will quit cause he's too good of a worker to fire. that's what did it for us. We're still trying to catch from that. We are catching up though and by the end of december we will be caught up.

And dont even get me on the topic of my work. I love all of the girls there but my boss. If I didn't just smile and nod all the time her and i would not get along. The fact that when I started working there I told her that I could work occasional nights, but I would like to work during the day and only on weekends that jackson has drill. She took it as I'm only going to schedual you for nights, and your going to work every weekend no matter what. and apparently I'm not the only one haveing problems with her schedualing because I've never voiced my opinion on the schedualing to her, because I've listened to her tweek out on one of the new girls (ann) for saying she can't work saturdays and Cheryl(my boss) wants her to only work saturdays.
I'm not using this as an excuse, but I told her i could only work days because that is when I have the most energy. but now I work everynight until 8 and that means by the time I get home to have dinner, and relax, so my heart doesn't pound out ofmy chest when I lay down for bed it's 10:30, 11:00 at night and I'm exasted so I sleep the next day until noon, and I dont get any house work or anything done because I wake up and have to start getting ready for work so i can be there by 2:50 so I can get all situated. And by the time i get there Christina(the other receptionist) just looks at me the minute I walk through the door and says "you can clock in so we can do shift change cause I have a hair appointment" or whatever her excuse is that time. I'm like whatever more money, but still the minute I walk through the door. I dont get there early so she can leave I get there early so i'm not late and I have time to wind down and go into work mode so I dont snap at anyone.

and on top of that we have the gas sucker of a truck who we are now putting 100.00 in every four days so we can get around and we just dont have the money. and with gas prices still going up and getting closer to 4 dollars I'm like Damn get rid of this thing and get a car. the whole 13 miles a gallon thing is killing us. and i HATE driving cause it has too much power for me. call me a wimp but that truck scares me. and I hate driving in teh rain out here cause all the truck does is skid and spin it's tires. that's it.

Well I've vented somewhat and I'm going to relax, because my stomach hurts.