Ups and Downs.

So being home(in maine) was great! i loved every minute...minus being sick....

but I'm not gunna lie, I'm happy to be back with jackson. i missed him terribly.

But no sooner did I get home that bad news struck. Jackson's Deployment got moved up. He leaves in august now. I lost it this morning and had to call my mom. But it gets better.

i found out tonight at dinner that the deployment is only for 400 days, with 30 days R&R! Which is good cause I thought he was going to be gone for the two years like he was suppose to be. I can handle 400 days. I think. But then tonight after dinner out side the restaurant Jackson asked me what I thought of South. Carolina and If I would be willing to live there for 16 weeks.

umm...my answer.

As long as I'm with you I don't give a shit where I am. (excuse my language)

So hopefully (i believe it is being worked out with the men upstairs) i will be able to relocate with Jackson to Ft.Jackson for his training for 16 weeks. That I can handle.


But what of my job? i don't think Cheryl is going to hold my spot for maternity leave and 16 weeks, but I'm gunna have to explain to them at work that the ARMY is our lives. We eat, sleep, dream, breath, and breed the ARMY. (Jackson is convinced Jarrid is his ARMY of ONE) What ever the ARMY wants the ARMY gets. There's a quote on my my space that states it all. "The ARMY is my husbands Mistress and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention" it's true, but i don't mind cause that means a sexy man in uniform gets to come home to me. ::insert moment for drooling and daydreaming::

But i believe that in order for Me to be able to go with him we will have to be married. Hmmm...everything seems to be happening at once; Baby, wedding, War.

But here's my Idea. I personally would like a semi long engagement. I don't know about Jackson. but I have no objections signing the legal papers that need to be signed to get us everything we need while he's gone and even while he's here. The ARMY doesn't accept Fiancees. only wives. But the wedding I would like to wait for. Maybe a small inexpensive church ceremony to make the families happy. (I don't know their views on the matter, I just want everyone to be happy.) And I would also like time to try to get in contact with my biological father (if he's even still alive) and let him know that his daughter is doing good. Maybe even find my brothers and meet them. And get contact with his side of the family and get to know them so they can come to the wedding. I've always dreamed of a big family wedding and I want all of our families to be there. Even though there will be butting of heads. And even if it means a wedding for 500. But that means we need time to save up. And with a Jarrid on the way, it's proving to be difficult to save up. every time we get caught up something seems to happen and drag us back down.

But you know what. We're happy. Well I think we are, I am. and I know he is.

We both know that god is testing our relationship this way, he's making us stronger for a reason. We've already been through so much and more is yet to come. Between our Age differences and people having difficultly accepting it, and then making the decision to live together, the baby, and now deployment its all a test the god is giving us.