ok so it was ok.

AHHH! i hurt!

you know the jokes Eric makes about not being able to poop?
well he can officially make fun of me because today was the first time all week that I have pooped. and man did it feel good.

over share huh?

After exposing myself to complete strangers so they can pull a child out of it, I don't really care anymore.

but really? I'm sore. I being a moron have been forgetting to take my pain medication. fascinating i know.

it's not a bad sore, its the sore your muscles get after you work out really hard at the gym.

also my body has informed me that because I am breastfeeding that my 3 meals a day to help me lose weight just wont cut it, because then Jarrid doesn't get food, because none is produced; because I'm not eating enough.

once again I am forcing myself to eat.

And jackson is extremely sick.

So Both Jarrid and I are staying away from him, but I think I will probably get sick just by looking at him. All I care about is that Jarrid doesn't get sick. But jackson has only been sick for the past 14 hours and we got him on antibiotics tonight so we caught it extremely early and we are treating it, so that Jarrid and I wont get sick.

And to top things all off. We don't have any clothes that fit Jarrid. We have 2 outfits and a bunch of onesies. So Jarrid mostly wears onesies and stays swaddled in blankets all day long. Only at night when we turn the heat up to 78, do we let him sprawl out and stretch. This morning he got to stretch out on the floor in just a diaper in the sun for a little bit, to help the jaundice go away. I think Pre-me clothes are a requirement when you have a small baby. And I'll tell you, i have yet to find a place besides babies-r-us that sells pre-me clothes. But I'm still on the look out for pre-me clothes. Can't wait till he can where the outfits everyone else got him.

Well that was my quick post. I'm eating something then going to bed because I'm exhausted

Picture Post!

My Blue Eyed Baby BoyThe moment of his birth

He is already a ladies man

With his Turtle that great grammy henigan got him

My two men sleeping

God I love them

He loves that turtle

rotting his brain on the computer

Introducing....

I'm sitting in my hospital bed, updating my blog.

Sort of.

Actually it's 4:00 am on February 28, 2008 and I'm hand writing my post. I can only guess the questions running through your head.

Why? you ask, am I in a hospital bed?
My answer is this:


The Newest addition to the family!
Jarrid Layne

My biggest accomplishment. I honestly have never been more proud of anything else I have done. Ever.
I'm still in shock that he's mine. That this 5lb 3oz human being was living inside me for the past 36 weeks. And now he's not. i have never loved anything in this world more then I love my baby. Jackson stated while holding Jarrid for the first time "This. This right here is true love." I agree. 100%
I have never loved two people more in my life as I love Jarrid and Jackson. My body overflows with a warmth that starts from the tip of my head and it runs down my body, through all my veins and muscles, going out my fingertips and toes, whenever i lay my eyes on Jackson or Jarrid.
I feel as though I might explode this feeling is like nothing i have ever felt.

I feel whole.

Complete as you would.

I've also noticed a change in BTSAM also. Before Jarrid was born Jackson was dead set on 'getting fixed"; our future wasn't filled with millions of kids. I will openly admit that i was kinda bummed out about this. Yes, this pregnancy was hard and unplanned, but honestly i wouldn't change anything that has happened in the past year for the world. If I had to go back and relive everything that has happened in the past year over and over i can say that i would.
But growing up I had always dreamed of this moment differently.

i can say that i;ve always wanted kids. I didn't know why at the time but I knew that i was going to have kids. i just never thought this way. I always dreamed of having a good career, after going to college and finding the man of my dreams, marrying him, buying a big house with a backyard for kids and dogs to play, in the suburbs where it's quiet, but not far from everything.

that's how i dreamed it.

we all know that's not exactly how it happened.

I'm only 20 years old, and I just turned 20; it's not like I'm turning 21 any time soon. and i just graduated.
from high school that is. I have felt that in the past 36 weeks i have completely thrown all my dreams out the window. I have met the man of my dreams and I know this because he is currently curled up on a couch that is way to small for him snoring away because he is completely exhausted; and all i can do is smile and feel my heart explode with love.
We are not married, but i cannot await the day that we are. yes there is a 10 year age difference; but that doesn't bother us. all I know is that i cannot live a day with out him.

i've given up my military career, but only now do i realize that it wasn't the career for me. Yes, as hewins had told me, i was oging to be an amazing soldier.
you want to know the honest truth though?
i know I wouldn't have been. i realize that joining the army was the biggest mistake of my life and I'm happy i got out before it was too late. I'm just not soldier material. But I worked damn hard to make myself look like a soldier and to make people believe i was a soldier. I was proud of my self at that time though.
know what though?
i knew my life was going to be devoted to the army one way or another. I just didn't know how yet. it is all in God's plan, i just hadn't figured it out yet.
I'm marrying the army. and I couldn't be prouder of the soldier i call my husband. where ever he goes, I go.

i definitely haven't given up college. not at all. i intend 100% to take a few classes while jackson is deployed. It may be online classes but hey, they are classes.

My dream of a steady career is fixed by the army. let's all admit it. I'm not cut out for the work field. but a homemaker, i think is my purpose. No, i don't think it is. I know it is.

and there is Jarrid. he was completely unplanned.

He's my unanswered prayer.

All those months I was sick i prayed every day, all day that I wasn't pregnant. well it couldn't happen, i was on birth control after all. that's what it was for. to control the population. I cried hours on end because i didn't want to deal with all the drama that i assumed came along with getting pregnant. I was scared out of my mind.

Afriad that my family would disown me because how stupid would you have to be to get pregnant before getting married? seriously. I don't know why I thought like this. clearly i have changed for the better.
Afraid that i had finally found the man that I love with all my heart and that he didn't feel the same way about me and would leave when he found out I was pregnant and my life would be filled with struggle.
Afraid that all my friends would leave me and not want anything to do with me.

But after giving birth to my 5 lbs 3 oz tank, i honestly wouldn't want anything different. If i had to choose this life or the life that I used to dream, I would choose this one; because to mone i may be a screw up, but to me my life couldn't be any better. I feel that my mother and i are closer now then we have ever been, yes we are far apart, but I feel like i can tell her anything now. the same way with my aunt Karen.

I only wish I could feel the excitement of deciding that it was time to have a baby, the struggle of getting pregnant and the excitement of finally knowing that it was going to happen. And after the labor i just went through I would gladly do it again. only once more though i think. I think my body was made to bring babies into the world. maybe I was born in the wrong decade.

I think jackson agreed because when Jr was visiting jackson said that he was getting tied, instead of snipped, so that it could be reversed if we decided to have another baby later on down the road. planned babies that is.

I will gladly announce that there will be no more unplanned babies for this family. I will not say that there wont be any more babies because honestly I loved Labor. not the pain part, but the feeling i got when Jarrid was finally born.

i actually liked it, enjoyed it. and because of this I know my place with God. To bring his children into the world. To make jackson the happiest man in the world, and to help raise our children through love, faith and the military.

it is because of this revelation and declaration that i consider myself now -whether you agree or not-

an adult.

Could it be?

this is not an official announcement for jackson and I are not telling anyone in fear of jinxing it, since that seems to be the pattern the past couple of weeks, but I figure I'm not telling anyone if they are reading about it right?

At 12:45 last night Jackson and I were in bed when I was overcome with horrible pain in my lower back and my abdomen.
and by horrible I mean the sharp stabbing pain in my abdomen and the crushing of my pathetic little tail bone.

I figured it was how Jarrid was laying because this pain wasn't coming in waves like contractions it was just constant pain.
Pretty close to being the worst pain ever might I add. And I have felt pain.

Jackson got up and actually called the doctor without me asking him too.
I think big tough army man was concerned.

The doctor basically instructed me to take two tylonal and call him in the morning.
We woke him up, and by the term we i mean the nurse. And he was not a happy camper. This is the same doctor who is afraid of Jackson, and by afraid i mean he comes pretty close to spoiling his pants when Jackson walks into the room. The nurses find it hilarious.

Well I didn't take the tylonal.
why should I? I had my man boots on.

Instead Jackson suggested a hot shower, maybe they would turn into contractions.
He was just promoted to Big Tough Smart Army Man.

So I took a shower and just as Jackson suggested, they turned into contractions.
powerful ones.

So we started timing them.
oh the joy of counting!

As the counting progress we relised that they were 2 minutes apart and very painful. Well the general rule is 'wait until they are 5 minutes apart for a couple hours.' Well they were two minutes apart and stayed that way for an hour and a half before BTSAM suggested we go to the hospital. I agreed.

We also agreed to not call anyone just in case it was another false alarm and agreed that we would alert the families when water was broken or when I got admitted into the hospital, that way they wouldn't get the "False Excitement" that I know I get.
We are tired of the 'false starts' so I think we've officially given up on spreading excitement until we know that he is actually coming out.

We arrived to the hospital and all that jazz, got put on monitors and everything and learned that with all this pain I was only 1 centimeter dilated. But they agreed that I was in labor.
i didn't need a doctor to tell me that, I could have told them that.

So the nurse said that Dr. didn't want me staying at the hospital but she disobeyed him and kept me for an hour just to see if there was any change in dilation, if there was she would admit me, if not she would send me home.

Well a painful hour later I was still only 1 centimeter so she said she was going to give me Vistral and send me home to labor at home.
it was at this point when she left the room that i looked at jackson and he got that look on his face saying 'Well guess he's not coming tonight.' I grinned and said 'I'm not taking it.' He looked at me like 'I wanna see you try' and then sat back in the chair.

She came back and gave me the medication. I placed it in my mouth like a good girl and took a big drink of water.
Jackson watched every move.

I quickly signed the discharge papers and turned my back to the nurse at which point I dug the two horse pills out from under my tongue. Jackson stared at me wide-eyed. I placed the pills in my pocket and finished talking to the nurse and waddled my butt down the hallway and out the doors at which point I took the pills out of my pocket and crumpled them up in my discharge papers.
one way or another this kid was coming out and I was not going to stop it again. He's obviously trying to come out for a reason, I will gladly allow this to happen.

So we went home and I'm still currently laboring at home, the contractions have not changed at all, still 2 minutes apart and still pretty painful, but I am managing, I've discovered natural ways for relieving the pain, My velvet teddy for instance has been very kind and allowed me to cuddle him while having contractions, which the velvet of his fur seems to have a calming effect on me. So jackson is now home from work and he is taking a nap, while I cook some dinner. After that we are going to walk around walmart and the grocery store with his mom cause walking brings on babies.

So that is the update, If I get admitted or my water breaks i will be calling everyone.

**WARNING!!**VENT SESSION

So as most of you know I was in labor (again) on Thursday. But what most of you don't know is that my doctor at the last appointment informed me that at this point if i was to go into labor again we would deliver the baby because he clearly wants to come out.

So Thursday Jackson and I went into Labor and Delivery with my contractions 8 minutes apart. We found out that I was only 1 measly centimeter dilated. (boring with a capital B) I told the nurse when we arrived that my doctor told me that we would deliver because I had been in pre-term labor before and he didn't want to keep stopping it because it causes me so much pain ( soarness) So the nurse told me that she was going to give me a muscle relaxer to help me calm down so that the contractions have a chance to do their work. At this point she gave me what we thought was called Vistane.

Needless to say we are still baby-less because the labor was stopped. Jackson and I were inquiring as to why. So I called my mommy and asked her if she knew what the drug is.

Well we ended up calling labor and delivery directly and talking to the on-call doctor about the drug. Here's what we found out.

It's Called Vistarl. and it's far from a muscle relaxer. It's an extremely powerful anti-hystimine that is used to stop pre-term labor. and I was given a wonderful dose of 100 mg.

Well When the hospital answers their phone they are going to have a very unhappy pregnant woman on their hands and I will find out as to why this nurse stopped my labor against my will, probably thinking that she knew what was best but i have news for her. It wasn't for the best, the best would be to let my effing baby come out like he keeps trying, so now we have to wait another effing week for the effects of the drug to wear off at which point i strongly believe that i will be in labor again next week at this time and I will tell you all now, I've given up on drugs, Screw the epidural, I'm not taking anymore drugs from the hospital EVER, this baby WILL be delivered naturally, because I am sick of the pain that goes along with the effing doctors stopping the labor against my will and my doctors will, because I am so sore after they stop the labor I lay around all day and get absolutely nothing done, when I could just have a baby and still lay around and get nothing done, but have a sense that i accomplished something for once.

yes I'll be sore and yes it will be painful, but you know what; I DON'T EFFING CARE! I'M SICK OF PEOPLE PRETENDING THEY KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR ME WHEN THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS ANY IDEA OF WHAT IS BEST FOR ME IS ME!!!

I'm tired of people who dont even know me trying to tell me what is best for me and what is best for my baby. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK! THIS IS MINE AND JACKSONS BABY! THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO REALLY KNOW WHAT IS BEST; IS US; RIGHT NOW IN THIS POINT IN TIME. AND UNTIL HE CAN MAKE HIS OWN DECISION AND VOICE THAT OPINION WE WILL BE THE ONES TO DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR HIM WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM IN THE END. THAT IS OUR DECISION; SO IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME, AND YOU DON'T KNOW JACKSON STOP TRYING TO TELL ME WHAT IS BEST. YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR OPINION AND I WILL TAKE IT AS THAT, BUT I WILL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW; IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M GOING TO LISTEN!!!!!! SO STOP PREACHING TO ME CAUSE I DON'T GIVE A RATS FURRY LITTLE BOTTOM!!!!!

STOP TRYING TO TELL ME THAT BREASTFEEDING IS GOING TO BE WHAT'S BEST FOR JARRID BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!!! SO QUIT TELLING ME TO DO IT!!!!


there...I'm calm now....

Porcine?

All I can say is:



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Porcupine?
More of a crunchy kind of jell-o I guess
Porcine.
Gives Jell-o it's non-melting abilities i guess.

I'm never going to let you live that down Eric.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously though.
Jello-o only melts in the microwave.
seriously, let it sit out of a few days...It maintains it's form. Put it in the microwave and it's flatter then Abbi's chest.

While surfing the web I found I site of random laws still in effect in the united states today.
Yay! to dumb rules!

We will start with the great state of Alabama:
Linden, Al - All Woman of 'Uncertain chastity' must be off the streets by 9pm.
so if your pregnant and not married you have to be in bed by 9?

Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
seriously? damn I really wanted to do that too.

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
ummm...why? I don't see what is wrong with this one.

Jasper, Al- It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a stick bigger in diameter then his thumb.
ummm...I'm not even going to touch this subject.

ALASKA:
Fairbanks- Moose are not allowed to mate in the streets.
"HEY! GET A ROOM!"

Fairbanks- It is an offense to give a moose alcoholic beverages.
Look the moose just wanna have fun too.

ARIZONA:
Camel hunting is prohibited.
There goes my next vacation.

I'm bored with this....How about some random thoughts?

Can A hearse carrying a corpse ride in the car pool lane?
technically there are two people in the vehicular...

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Dude look at this thing...it's ugly

Really. It's ugly.

Get Him OUT!!!!!!!

Ok I'm officially sick of being pregnant.


He can come out any day now. Really, I have no problem with it.

Sleepless nights that are only going to get more sleepless, but at least I wont have a creature in me to move around and wake me. He'll be in a crib!

mostly I want the uncomfortableness to go away.

is that even a word? uncomfortableness?

I don't think so.

The constant pressure and all that stuff is just annoying now. It can go away.

NOW!

So the propane is turned on finally. And i fixed the thermostat that Jackson complained that they didn't turn the pilot light for the furnace on.

We have hot water and both Jackson and I rejoiced in this by taking hot showers!

Then we went over to his parents and watch 8 below, and I basked in the Paul Walker goodness. (Damn! he's fine.)

Then we walked home and watched some t.v before going to bed.

But I have to work today. I don't really look forward to it because I really don't want to see any of them, but i guess i have to put up with it. At least for one more week. Then I think i will have to take maternity leave. Which I am pretty excited to be taking.

He will come.

Boss man called this morning. (boss man being the doctor.)

He said he thought for sure I was in labor this weekend. And then instructed me some things to do to help naturally induce labor. He said it seems like he wants out but can't make up his mind so we will try to help him make it up, and naturally try things, if they dont work, they dont work; but it wont hurt to try.

Lots of walking!
Hot Showers
Castrol Oil Cocktail (ew! [I'm positive I'm spelling that wrong])
If the Castrol Oil doesn't work he said I'll just be cleaned out.
Among other things I will not state on here for everyone's sanity.

After talking to Britta she also suggested the Castrol Oil cocktail (double ew!) said that's what put her into labor with Availia, along with running laps around the house and jumping on the bed. But after doing some research I think I'll avoid the Castrol Oil cause all it seems to do is give you and the baby a bad case of the shits. So I'll avoid that one, we'll only use it as a last resort and only if I'm over due.

I've gotten over the fact that no one came to my baby shower. (shit happens; but it still hurts.)

So this morning I have taken part in helping Jarrid find his way. Laps around the house, jumping jacks, heating pad on my back (The propane is still NOT turned on and propane company is being extremely difficult, which after talking to the property manager here a lot of people have problems with suburban propane)

As I type this I am on hold with the propane company. Teach them to piss off the Pregnant Woman who has been in Labor for almost four days.

Well two...but they don't know that.

I WANNA TAKE AN 'EFFING HOT SHOWER! IN MY OWN HOUSE! WHEN EVER I WANT!!!!!

WHAT?!?! no annoying music to listen to while I'm on hold. What kind of company is this?

And while I wait for someone to pick up the phone here is some random facts:

never mind she answered....she's way to happy...didn't even let me finish and is now trying to tell me that the account doesn't even exist. hmm that's funny cause we've paid the deposit. And we've sent in all the forms.

WTF? they lost the papers.


Now I'm going up to placerville with krystal to get my propane turned on. Jackson says play up the baby thing, maybe they will come turn it on today. hahaha


**Update** (warning there may be a few today)

I got home from The propane people.
lovely bunch of chaps really. I might send them some cookies...poisoned ones.

I arrived home in a timely manner.
not really.

I really had to pee.
and by really I mean my bladder was about to fall to the floor and crawl into the sewer and bask it rotten goodness. I know, gross

I pulled into the parking lot to see a guy walking to his car. And an empty space right in front of my door.
I've become lazier.

So I stopped and waited for him to mosey over to his car. At this time Einstein decided to be polite and let me go, only he was standing in the spot that I wanted to park in. In all my non Einsteinian glory I pointed to the parking spot and grunted like a Neanderthal. He kept waving me past and I grunted some more and pointed to the spot. He looked around and took a step to the left side and waved me by again.
At this point I made that "Ahroo?" noise and cocked my head. Let me give you a visual.

Bare with me for I'm not computer smart, or at least I like to pretend I'm not. The line thingys { | | } are the parking lines. The H is a car. We'll mark Einstein with a big fat E.

|H| E | H | This was before he moved.

|H| E |H| That's where he moved. Not much difference I know.

So I; in all my Neanderthal way pulled into the spot. I didn't hit him!
Shocking, I know.

So with this victory I grabbed my soft tub spa thing from Krystal.
::Grunt Grunt:: turn tub into jet water ::grunt grunt::

And waddled my big fat butt up the stairs to my still not heated living quarters , and put the box down to open the door.
At this point things got messy.

I found the key on the chain of key-goodness and slid it into the deadbolt. It went in very easy. Then I went to turn it.

I wouldn't turn. I took the key out and looked at it. Yup it was the same key I used to lock the door, so that means it should unlock it right?

I slid it back in and tried again. No luck. I started grunting again and tried to turn it without breaking the key. I pulled it out again.
At this point my Neanderthal brain isn't comprehending anything, and is chanting "B and E; B and E!" for all you who lack in the Dan Cook department a B and E is Breaking and Entering. Aka Kicking down the door.

So I slid the key in and decided that the best answer for this would be to alternate pulling the key in and out while turning, maybe finding the "Sweet spot"

So, I proceeded to make Sweet Love to the dead bolt on the door. At least that's what it felt like I was doing, I came pretty close to sweet talking it when the click sounded and the key turned.
At this point i run into the house like it would close and lock on me again and start doing a victory dance.

I immediately IMed nick and this is the conversation we had.

Me (2:09:52 PM): I damn near just had to do a B and E on my own front door.

Me (2:10:33 PM): my effing key wouldn't turn and I was really confused cause it was the same key I used to lock the door!

Me (2:11:14 PM): if you lived anywhere near me I would have called you and had you come do a B and E, cause I probably would have just fallen over

Nick (2:13:48 PM): lol

Me (2:14:28 PM): Well I really had to pee...and my door wouldn't open...I had to wiggle the key in and out like I was making sweet love to the deadbolt and damn near came close to sweet talking it.

Nick (2:15:41 PM): ooo sweet love the dead bolt

Me (2:16:48 PM): yeah...it was selfish too, after it got off it let me in. What satisfaction did I get out of it?

Nick (2:17:02 PM): umm you got to pee
Nick (2:18:07 PM): Well, I'm off to find food in this institute of higher drinking education.

Yup. That's my nick. all grown up and going to college to learn how to drink. Good boy.
I mean...Bad boy...underage drinking is a BIG no no.

Not like everyone has done it once in their life, I did, I wont lie. But I was never irresponsible. I never left where ever I was, and I never let anyone drive anywhere near me.

Baby Shower Blues

Well tonight was my baby shower.

Of the 25 people we invited, 1 person showed up.


I'm kinda upset because it seems that everyone out here doesn't really care about other people. All the girls from work told me they were going to come, but none of them showed up. i called Leslie to see if she was coming and She was on her way home for San hose visiting her nephew (which was unplanned) but she at least tried to call to tell me she couldn't make it, but she was pissed off that no one else from work showed up.

But we still had fun, Jacksons parent were there, along with Jess, Alex and Taylor (the little girl I've been watching) and Taylor's mom Krystal whom I've become god friends with. We all put Katie on the treadmill and turned it on and then put a cookie at the top and watched Katie walk up. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Then we played games and we all made the best time out of a bad situation.

All in all I really had a lot of fun, yeah I'm upset no one showed up, but you know shit happens. We couldn't really expect for people to get us the things we need as gifts, Krystal got us Diapers and Wipes (YAY Krystal!) but I guess I was hoping too much for people who I thought were friends to follow through, and give me the excitement of having Jarrid.

I mean I'm really excited, and i can't wait for him to be here, but honestly, I want the glory of being pregnant. Yeah it was a blessing and god obviously has other plans for me but I kinda wanted to be the center of attention for once. Today was kinda about me. Yeah not only me, but Jarrid's glory was to be lived by me. I haven't really felt the glory of being pregnant. and i think as my last months wind down my chances of getting that glory seem to be getting further and further away. Maybe I'm just being Greedy. Yeah I'm being greedy, I should just be happy with everything we have, but it's not the same when I can look at something that was given to us and know that someone cared enough to get us that. I'll stop being a greed monster now.

I just wish I had friends out here like I did in Maine. My entire trip was made when i knew that my friends cared enough to throw me a baby shower. Yes i will admit it wasn't to the extent that i had always dreamed my baby shower would be; tons of family and friends, Ohhing and Ahhing over baby outfits and getting advice from everyone and playing games, laughing and just having fun. Like Aunties always were. She always had great baby showers. It just seems like I'm expecting too much from this. I just wanted my only pregnancy to be perfect. Like I had always dreamed.

You would think that I would have learned that things never happen as you dream them.

No baby?

So it seems that contractions have stopped. It's been about two hours since my last one.


I guess we will just have to keep waiting and see.

Keeping everyone posted.

Baby Watch '08

Update before I attempt to go to bed.


The contractions are now about 45 minutes apart, but still ever so strong. Still no pressure, We went grocery shopping to see if walking would bring on more, so we are just waiting now.

I'm tired and I'm going to attempt to go to bed with my new best friend the heating pad.

Great Baby comith....maybe

So tonight is gunna be a loooooooooooong night. consisting of Contractions, lots of walking, and more contractions.

right now my contractions are about 30 mins apart, but they are quite strong. It's gunna be a long weekend.

I dont think I'm getting any progress though becuase the pressure I felt the first time I went into labor is not there, but I am having the contractions.

I dont think we are going to have a baby tonight or even tomorrow for that fact, I dont think he's gunna come until during the week. My water hasn't even broken yet, so it's just a waiting game right now. The doctor doesn't want to admit me until the contractions are 5 mins apart, so we will see what happens. But I have been instructed to keep up my normal pace and maybe that will push him along.


We're all just getting really anxious and tonight is going to be long. I'll try to keep updates, as I know my mom will too, she'll be the first person informed of any changes.

But honestly I think that he's not coming yet.

More Zombie Valentines at 34 weeks

Once again I am going to be a walking zombie.

But good news, according to my doctor it's normal for women to not sleep well in their last couple months due to not being able to get comfortable.

That sucks. A lot.

I tossed and turned all night long again, this time the foot was removed (Thank god) but rolling over is proving to be ever more difficult, and the frequent bathrooms breaks is driving me nuts. But I guess this is what happens.

As I have already stated I had a doctors appointment yesterday, as I have had them every two weeks for the past couple months and now we are upgrading (!) to every week (!).

After feeling around on my stomach for about 5 minutes Dr. came to the conclusion that Jarrid was in the head down position and at this point if I was to go into labor once again he wouldn't stop it and we would just have a baby. We were given the o.k to do what we wanted, which means I don't need to rest so much anymore, of coarse when I'm tired I need to lay down, but other then that I'm free to walk around the mall again.

Which store waddling has become a sport in my mind. But it really depends on the means as to why we are there. If we are just there to walk around and get some exercise then can keep up with Jackson for he walks at the normal human pace.

But if we are looking for something, or we have something to do and the mall is just an errand, then that is a whole other story. At this rate I feel that I am waddling so fast I might fall over. Which wouldn't be good, just picture a wide load toppled over on the highway. Traffic would be stopped for miles.

But as we all know today is that day that single women hate, men fear, and women with significant others pull their hair out as to what to get their hubby. Yes that's right folks, prepare yourself it's Valentines Day.

A moment for gasping and recollecting ourselves.



And moment is over.

Valentines Day is kinda really crap. If you think about it. It's probably the only day out of the year that if you don't have a significant other, today is the day you probably wanna slit your wrists, as you sit at work watching all the other ladies get Flowers and candy and teddy bears and all that mushy crap. Don't get me wrong mushy crap is fun, when your on the receiving end of it, but if not it sucks.

Not only does Valentines Day probably have the highest suicide rate (morbid I know) but I wouldn't be surprised if it also had the highest homicide rate. (even more morbid)

I mean what single woman wants to go to work, or even out into the world on a day that couples are celebrated? I know I wouldn't.

But as for me I can gladly say I am not single, nor do I think that I have been single on valentines day since 7th grade. But still I can say that this holiday sucks, and probably should be taken off the calender.

I mean even if you do have a significant other what the hell are you supposed to get them? I don't know about you but I don't see big army guys who play around with tools all day the type to want a teddy bear. See my dilemma? I was trying to win Carrie Underwood tickets, but for some reason for the past week I was listening to the radio at the wrong times and couldn't figure out why they weren't giving away tickets. Till I e-mailed the radio station and found out the real times. So that idea went out the window, I'm still gonna try to win them, but I guess they just wont be for valentines day. So now is the fact as to what I should get him. I'd cook a nice dinner but the propane company has yet to show up so we still don't have hot water, a stove, or heat. you know those small things that don't really matter. So cooking a nice dinner is out of the question. And lets be honest, in all my pregnant glory and can't really just get all dolled up and look all cute for when he gets home from work all greasy and dirty. Because one: i just don't feel cute. and Two: i know that pregnant people creep him out sort of. The idea that there is a human inside of me scares him a bit. Which i completely understand. It scares the crap out of me.

So this is my problem, and now that I am tired again I will retreat to the bedroom to fall back asleep.


***Update***

After awaking this morning I rolled out of bed at 11:00 am (Wow 4 straight hours of sleep!) and called work to see if our checks were in. I was given the ok to go pick it up so I mosied my way down to work to pick up my money. After cashing my check at the nearest US Bank and convincing the teller that it would not be in my best interest to open up an account and that she should just give me my money so I can get my errands done.

So I finally got my money and stopped off to get Jackson at least a valentine card. While browsing the store I stumbled upon a red TY hippo named Lovely. (Searched the site to find him only to learn that he is now retired.) But I found his picture:

I think it is adorable. Sure it's a stuffed animal, but looking at all the TY Classic
animals I've decided that I want to start collecting the Baby TY
for Jarrid because they are just all so cute.

So Jackson now has a red lovely hippo, with 4 of his favorite energy drinks and a card from me that says: "I love you because even though you can't understand me half the time..." and then on the inside it says "You still stand me"
Which is completely 100% true because he's always saying "Sam sometimes I just don't understand you," or "Sometimes I really worry about you..." Mostly these are said when I say something that make absolutely no sense. like "Low the mawn" or "Use the garbage disposal" to destroy credit cards. He actually thinks I would have put credit cards in the garbage disposal, Ok I'm blond but not that blond.

So his present now sits in the fridge cause I want to keep the drinks cold. lol

What part of west coast DONT you understand?

Today is a zombie day I fear.

I've been sucked in.

As gasps fill the world your all probably wondering how this happened. Gather 'round little children and I'll tell you the great zombie story of 2008.

Last night was long. And by long I mean it went by fast in short bursts. But no long bursts. I stayed up to watch the 2 hour Hollywood episode of AMERICAN IDOL (Jackson got me addicted...) then I checked the T.V guide to see if by some miracle of god there was something good on. I checked the usual channels, Discovery, MTV, etc. Then I checked the Vs. Channel. Oh sweet jesus I got excited.

At this point I should mention that since moving out to California I have fallen in love with two sports I never thought I would actually like. NASCAR (Go Jr!!) and WEC (Go Urijah!)

Anyway, as I said I got excited for I saw the three magic words that light up my sports life. Scheduled, Urijah, and Faber. Yes that is right, Urijah Faber was fighting and he is by far my favorite fighter in the WEC. So I quickly changed the channel to watch the fight. Just in time too, it was just beginning. Then my heart sank, it was a repeat. I've seen this fight numerous times. What the hell? How come Urijah hasn't had any fights lately. I've come to the conclusion that it's because he's 20-1 and no one wants to fight him cause they would get one of his crazy elbows to the face. Which I will fill you in; I would not want to be on the receiving end of one of his elbows...or even one of his kicks.

Or anything violent from him actually.

So I watched the fight anyways to get my Urijah fix and the fight only went into the 2nd round (which was a first ever in Urijah history, he usually gets them all in Rear Naked Choke Hold in the first and then it's all over folks) And the fight ended about 11:00pm.

So I went to bed. But for some reason there was a little foot sticking out of my side and no matter how I pinched or tickled or poked it, it just wouldn't budge. So I thought I would be a smart mommy and roll over to the other side. No sooner had I rolled did the foot come out on the other side. Then he started rolling around and kicking, you the normal things babies do after listening to WEC. They wanna practice their unarmed combatives (UAC). Well Jarrid does at least. It's shown a pattern actually. He likes to practice his UAC, I don't mind it...as long as he leaves my bladder and kidneys alone. I fear he believes my bladder is a speed bag for him to practice on. Only when it's full though. Either that or sit on it. He likes to do that too.

So I spent all night tossing and turning getting short naps here and there. And then it happened. I woke up at 2:30am wide awake and not even wanting to fall back asleep. But I forced my self to close my eyes and I kinda just vegged for the next couple of hours. Until Jacksons alarm clock went off at 5:00am. At this point I here him mumble half a sleep, "Just five more minutes" I roll my eyes at this and hear the slamming of the snooze button. So I rolled over once again...with a foot still jammed into my side.

So after hitting the snooze button about half a dozen times Jackson decides that it is time to get up. So he gets up and turns on every light in the bedroom. For some reason those lights only seem to be bright first thing in the morning, but at night when you are trying to get ready for bed they are so dim you have to squint to see where you are going.

He got ready for work, we said our "I love you"s (Mushy I know) and he went to work. I rolled over again and thought to myself, "If that alarm clock goes off after I get comfortable I will rip it out of the wall" This is the part when Karma sneaks in and laughs evilly.

No sooner had I finished thinking it did the clock shatter the silence of the early morning with it's horrible BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

At this point I was finally getting tired again and just wanted to go to sleep. So I crawled across the bed to the alarm clock and hit the sleep button.

I fear I might need to educate Jackson on the difference between the Snooze and the Sleep button. The Snooze button is the big button that shuts the devil creature up for 9 minutes before it starts it's ritualistic chirping again, and the Sleep button is what silences the beast for another 24 hours before it starts it's devil worshiping again.

Can't they make an alarm clock that wakes you up with peaceful noises? And if they do, how can I acquire one to replace the satanic baby eating one that lives on our end table?

So I defeated the evil clock of doom and rolled over. I somehow fell asleep. I don't even remember closing my eyes. Guess I was tired. Then it happened.

A second Satanic Chirping sounded through my house, this time it was coming from my living room. I opened my eyes and looked at the demon clock which told me it was 7:30 am. I wondered how it was already 7:30 and then looked to the hallway. I debated getting up and answering phone and then realized that it might be Jackson who jokingly threw a fit yesterday cause I was napping and didn't get out of bed to answer the phone, which is another story.

Anyway I rolled my unhappy butt out of bed (which is proving to be more and more difficult everyday) and made my way down the hallway to the phone. I got there and picked up the screaming creature and looked at the caller ID. It stated US Government.

Ummm....I debated that if I answered the phone would the FBI show up and shank me, or if it would happen if I didn't answer the phone. Either way I was doomed, so I just hung it back up and walked away like it wasn't even ringing. After it stopped ringing I picked it up and walked back into the bedroom placing the phone on the window sill and laying back down in bed. I got comfortable (minus the foot still in my side) and was almost asleep when Satan started calling again. I rolled over and looked at the glowing caller ID. It said "mom" and started chirping like a dying sparrow (for some reason for numbers that are saved in our caller ID it makes a different ring) so I answered it and Jackson's mom was all chipper and stated that Krystal said she would go with us to the party store after dropping Taylor off at school.

Oh yeah...I had forgotten that we were going shopping for baby shower decorations this morning. I put on my awake voice and answered her and said that I would be right over.

And that is the story of my zombie, now I wait for 3:00pm to pick Jess and Alex up from school so that we can take them out to dinner for helping us so much this past weekend, and then Haul my butt down to Roseville to make my 3:45 appointment at the doctors office, which I will make them wait in the waiting room. Yes I'm a horrible person...lol

As I sit here I will wait for the foot to still be removed from my side.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!1

No sooner did I boast about how wonderful the sims 2 was working, did I go to start it up and it closed and said Unspecified Error. I clicked again and the same error message popped up! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I worked perfectly fine yesterday!

Now I must go and uninstall the entire thing and reinstall it.

all because I dont have a back up disk thingy cause SIMS 2 can't run on Vista.


Jerks

It's all new...AHHHHH

Well I am home alone. Yes that is right, alone. For the first time since it feels like forever. It's relaxing and boring all at the same time. Jackson got called to work this morning(!!) I know shocking. After being laid off for a month he got called back for today. I guess something went down with the company and people losing jobs (I don't know I was a captive of the Zombie Squad last night) and Jackson got called in. A good or bad thing? hmm...

But I think I might indulge in playing a little god today, as the Sims 2 works perfectly fine on this computer and it doesn't slow it down at all.

MWAHAHAHAHA.

We were at Wally world yesterday and I saw two (yes two!) new Nancy Drew games. I was like "DAMMMMNNN"
The White wolf of Icicle Creek
The Legend of the Crystal Skull

There are currently 17 Nancy Drew games out, and a shocking 9 I have beaten. ::Achmed tone:: Holy Crap!

For your entertainment I am going to list them now
Secrets Can Kill
Stay Tuned For Danger
Message in a Haunted Mansion
Treasure in the Royal Tower
The Final Scene
Secret of the Scarlet Hand
Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake
The Haunted Carousal
Danger on Deception Island (Haven't beaten it yet, but I am currently working on it.)
The Secret of Shadow Ranch
The Curse of Blackmoor Manor
The Secret of Old Clock
Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon
Danger By Design
The Creature of Kapu Cave
The White Wolf of Icicle Creek
the Legend of the Crystal Skull

I found the Nancy Drew website and linked to the games in case anyone was curious as to what they were about. Anything that is underlined is a link. The ones you can link to I haven't beaten
.

Well I'm going to play god now...I'm gunna start and Sim family. See if I can make them survive. I will update you on their fate.

Who's your eye doctor?

Oh we are done, with everything. sort of. at least for now.

The next thing on the agenda is the baby shower on sunday, but Jackson's mom and i have it all under control.

The nursery is done, it's all blue and the crib is put together with sheets and teddy bears and blankets. The Stroller and Car seat are put together and waiting for use.

now all we do is wait. Which sucks cause I'm impaitent.

but I have the Sims 2 on this computer sooo.......I wont be bored.


Man I really wish I had some new Nancy Drew games though...::hint hint::
They have a bunch of new games out, The last game I beat that was a Nancy drew game was danger on deception island. I'm such a kid, but i love those games. they exercise my noodle.

CAuse that seems to be the only thing I can exercise lately. I'm sore from this weekend and I think a day of vegging out is needed so that it what I plan on doing. today. vegging. lol

Wooo Hoo

So it is done!


We have the computer hooked up and the internet installed. I am currently posting from our new house! YAY!


and it's fast.

the end.

Pictures!

These are the pictures from the apartment. I will put a good post on tomorrow we need to go finish Jarrids room the living room and the hallway and We need to set up the new computer (!!!) and the stroller and infant carrier.

Our family handprints. Jackson, Mine, and then we put Jess and Alex for after the adoption. We are going to attempt to put jarrids up there when he is born too. lol
my wonderful taping job in jarrids room.

And the picture everyone has been waiting for.....

oh?

And so it starts!


Painting! WOOOO!!! I will have pictures for everyone to see our amazing decorationg abilities because we do infact kick butt.

besides the fact we ran out of paint for the living room.

but that is besides the point, we only have a wall and a half that's not painted.

Jarrid's room is to be painted tonight, the color is called Gulf stream. I think.

The kitchen is Mysteria. and the living room and dining room is Applesauce Cake.


What is applesauce cake you ask? I am on a quest to find this out actually. And according to google it is an actually food. How you get applesauce into a cake I do not know, but I like applesauce, so I'm not going to try to make it because I fear just by looking at the pictures I will lose my likeing for applesauce. it doesn't look that good.

And as I have read I have learned that my aunts inklings are broken. I think she's lucky she has inklings. I have an inkling that Jarrid is gunna come sooner then we want no matter what but then again I think the inklings are having a civil war with themselves and are throwing of everyones inklings.

Just like I'm craving milk right now. Inklings and cravings have nothing in common, but I fear one day they will gang up and kick all of our rears. Hormones will join in that fight too.

Or everyone in the world will just get pregnant cause thats what happens. Cravings, Hormones and inklings gang up on you and Crave, moan, and inkle all over the place. sounds slightly messy actually.

I still want some milk and might actually get off my lazy butt to get my self a glass.

On the other case i am very comfortable and relaxed right now and dont see getting up anytime in my future.

Unless it's to go shopping. Every girl loves shopping and I haven't done some desent shopping in a while. My next big shopping thing will be for the infant carrier. Which I fear we may need sooner then we would like.

and jarrid once again has the hiccups. everyday he gets the hiccups. feels really weird actually.

Well my craving for milk has kick my butt and i must venture into the kitchen to aquire me a glass of calcium goodness.

pictures will be up probally tomorrow. I feel we will be up late painting tonight.

Showering Babies

So, being on bedrest is driving me nuts. It's sooo boring. But needless to say I got the Baby shower invitations done. They are all really simple, but I made a very special one for Jarrid to put in his scrapbook.

That's his special invitation. All of the other ones just have the teddy bear, and the saying on the bottom. On the inside it says "Let's celebrate with a baby shower!" and then time, place, date ect. But I am very proud of that invitation. Took me all of a half an hour to make 21 invitations.

I can't wait until he's born so I can become a camera addict, and take millions of pictures and scrapbook them and show him off!

Heh...My little trophy baby. He's gunna be a football player I already know. The way he punts around inside of me he's either going to have a really good punt, or an amazing right hook.

So either way he's gunna be trouble.

And on other news.

Jackson recieved his offical deployment orders. December 9, 2008.

That's all I can say about that, there are orders out to military families stating that we aren't allowed to state when they are coming home, or where they are going.

But I will have a countdown clock, that's all i can say. Maybe a count up clock of how many days he's been gone instead.

It's a small post, but I'm sure I will have more to say later.

WTF??!?!?!

How come I'm always the last one to find out about shit?


i just now find out that taysia died in september???

WTF?

Bed Rest Anyone?

So last night was a long night. Actually all day yesterday was a long day.

I woke up at 7 am and I was in a lot of discomfort. It felt like every organ in my stomach was full of gas and I couldn't release it. And I was nausous, and my back felt like someone had taken a sledge hammer to it. So I tried drinking some water, eating for cherrios, drinking a glass of milk and a glass of apple juice. Hehe...Needless to say it doesn't taste very good coming back up.

I rolled around in bed trying to find a comfortable position, but jackson woke up at about 8 and said that we should go to his parents and I should take a hot bath to see if that would help with the back pain. I lasted about 15 mins in the tub. I couldn't get comfortable and I couldn't stop throwing up long enough to relax. So Jackson told me to call my doctor. The nurse said that it sounds like I have the Stomach Flu that has been going around, and I agreed because both Katie and Jacksons mom had it two days before, so it was possible that I caught it from them. Well at about 2:00pm I started doing downhill. I couldn't keep any liquids down, couldn't sleep, couldn't get comfortable, I felt like I had been hit by a mac truck. literally. (Dane cook pops into my head..."I wanted to yell, 'your about to get struck by a motor vehicle' but all i could get out was 'ehhh' ")

I literally looked like shit too. Everyone avoided me. I was pale and vomiting and ontop of it i think I smelled like vomit cause it was in my hair. But I couldn't stop praying to the porcelin gods long enough to shower. So at about 4 pm, i had gone a whole hour without vomiting. (thank you pepto bismol!) and felt that I might have enough strength to take a shower. So I asked jackson to start it for me and I mosied my fat butt down the hall to take a shower. That's when it all got worse.

Theres a mirror in the bath room(of coarse there is it's a bathroom) what I mean by a mirror I mean right across from the shower where you can watch yourself. So I was looking at myself into the mirror, taht's a lie, I was actually looking at my stomach and much to my surprise i watched it drop a good inch, inch and a half. And by drop I mean, my boobs aren't being held up by my stomach anymore. that's how much it dropped. And so it started. The contractions.

Well I didn't think they were contractions, I thought my stomach was just hurting because I had been vomiting all day and my muscles were screaming for relief.

Boy was I wrong.

I called the doctor and explained everything that had happened and the nurse told me to hold on and she went and got the on-call doctor. The doctor talked to me and told me to take two tylonal and if the pain doesn't go away or it worsens to go into Labor and Delivery.

I was like, Oh crap. I'm not spending the night in the hospital and this baby is NOT coming out today, tomorrow or the next day. He will come out when we are ready for him to come out.

So 7:00pm rolls around and I am miserable. I had no say in it, I think if I hadn't of said yes, jackson would have dragged me anyways. So we went to the Labor and Delivery.

Jarrid pissed off the nurses by hiding so they couldn't moniter him. I was haveing contractions every ten mins. Then the pressure came. (Very graphic I'm sorry.) I felt like my ass wanted to explode all over the place. But I couldn't. SO MUCH PRESSURE. I mentioned it to the nurse and she gave me a look, like "You've got to be shitting me." So she was like, 'Drop your pants, I'm gunna check you really quickly."

umm what?

So alot of discomfort later the look on her face told me that it wasn't good. 'Well your two centimeters dialated and his head is right there, which is why you are feeling so much pressure."
Jacksons jaw hit the floor. What happened to the Stomach flu causeing all this? Jackson laughed, I think he was just making you throw up so he had room to bust out. I was like bullshit he is not coming out yet. So the doctor came in and checked and agreed with the nurse. Oh fun. they were talking about admiting and transfurring. Um Do I not have a say in this. But then the doctor desided that 32 weeks was two early to have a baby. So he gave me a shot of tributaline i think it was called, that stopped the contractions. and a dose of phenergren mixed with iv fluids. I put up a fight though cause they had to put the iv in my hand.

and they came to the conclusion that I have a bladder infection. FUN!

So after they drugged me and sent me home. and they put me on best rest.

But at 10:00 this morning the contractions started again and they haven't stopped, they are irregular, but painful all the same.

well katie is calling me so I have to go play tea with her.