**WARNING!!**VENT SESSION

So as most of you know I was in labor (again) on Thursday. But what most of you don't know is that my doctor at the last appointment informed me that at this point if i was to go into labor again we would deliver the baby because he clearly wants to come out.

So Thursday Jackson and I went into Labor and Delivery with my contractions 8 minutes apart. We found out that I was only 1 measly centimeter dilated. (boring with a capital B) I told the nurse when we arrived that my doctor told me that we would deliver because I had been in pre-term labor before and he didn't want to keep stopping it because it causes me so much pain ( soarness) So the nurse told me that she was going to give me a muscle relaxer to help me calm down so that the contractions have a chance to do their work. At this point she gave me what we thought was called Vistane.

Needless to say we are still baby-less because the labor was stopped. Jackson and I were inquiring as to why. So I called my mommy and asked her if she knew what the drug is.

Well we ended up calling labor and delivery directly and talking to the on-call doctor about the drug. Here's what we found out.

It's Called Vistarl. and it's far from a muscle relaxer. It's an extremely powerful anti-hystimine that is used to stop pre-term labor. and I was given a wonderful dose of 100 mg.

Well When the hospital answers their phone they are going to have a very unhappy pregnant woman on their hands and I will find out as to why this nurse stopped my labor against my will, probably thinking that she knew what was best but i have news for her. It wasn't for the best, the best would be to let my effing baby come out like he keeps trying, so now we have to wait another effing week for the effects of the drug to wear off at which point i strongly believe that i will be in labor again next week at this time and I will tell you all now, I've given up on drugs, Screw the epidural, I'm not taking anymore drugs from the hospital EVER, this baby WILL be delivered naturally, because I am sick of the pain that goes along with the effing doctors stopping the labor against my will and my doctors will, because I am so sore after they stop the labor I lay around all day and get absolutely nothing done, when I could just have a baby and still lay around and get nothing done, but have a sense that i accomplished something for once.

yes I'll be sore and yes it will be painful, but you know what; I DON'T EFFING CARE! I'M SICK OF PEOPLE PRETENDING THEY KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR ME WHEN THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS ANY IDEA OF WHAT IS BEST FOR ME IS ME!!!

I'm tired of people who dont even know me trying to tell me what is best for me and what is best for my baby. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK! THIS IS MINE AND JACKSONS BABY! THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO REALLY KNOW WHAT IS BEST; IS US; RIGHT NOW IN THIS POINT IN TIME. AND UNTIL HE CAN MAKE HIS OWN DECISION AND VOICE THAT OPINION WE WILL BE THE ONES TO DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR HIM WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM IN THE END. THAT IS OUR DECISION; SO IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME, AND YOU DON'T KNOW JACKSON STOP TRYING TO TELL ME WHAT IS BEST. YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR OPINION AND I WILL TAKE IT AS THAT, BUT I WILL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW; IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M GOING TO LISTEN!!!!!! SO STOP PREACHING TO ME CAUSE I DON'T GIVE A RATS FURRY LITTLE BOTTOM!!!!!

STOP TRYING TO TELL ME THAT BREASTFEEDING IS GOING TO BE WHAT'S BEST FOR JARRID BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!!! SO QUIT TELLING ME TO DO IT!!!!


there...I'm calm now....