He will come.

Boss man called this morning. (boss man being the doctor.)

He said he thought for sure I was in labor this weekend. And then instructed me some things to do to help naturally induce labor. He said it seems like he wants out but can't make up his mind so we will try to help him make it up, and naturally try things, if they dont work, they dont work; but it wont hurt to try.

Lots of walking!
Hot Showers
Castrol Oil Cocktail (ew! [I'm positive I'm spelling that wrong])
If the Castrol Oil doesn't work he said I'll just be cleaned out.
Among other things I will not state on here for everyone's sanity.

After talking to Britta she also suggested the Castrol Oil cocktail (double ew!) said that's what put her into labor with Availia, along with running laps around the house and jumping on the bed. But after doing some research I think I'll avoid the Castrol Oil cause all it seems to do is give you and the baby a bad case of the shits. So I'll avoid that one, we'll only use it as a last resort and only if I'm over due.

I've gotten over the fact that no one came to my baby shower. (shit happens; but it still hurts.)

So this morning I have taken part in helping Jarrid find his way. Laps around the house, jumping jacks, heating pad on my back (The propane is still NOT turned on and propane company is being extremely difficult, which after talking to the property manager here a lot of people have problems with suburban propane)

As I type this I am on hold with the propane company. Teach them to piss off the Pregnant Woman who has been in Labor for almost four days.

Well two...but they don't know that.

I WANNA TAKE AN 'EFFING HOT SHOWER! IN MY OWN HOUSE! WHEN EVER I WANT!!!!!

WHAT?!?! no annoying music to listen to while I'm on hold. What kind of company is this?

And while I wait for someone to pick up the phone here is some random facts:

never mind she answered....she's way to happy...didn't even let me finish and is now trying to tell me that the account doesn't even exist. hmm that's funny cause we've paid the deposit. And we've sent in all the forms.

WTF? they lost the papers.


Now I'm going up to placerville with krystal to get my propane turned on. Jackson says play up the baby thing, maybe they will come turn it on today. hahaha


**Update** (warning there may be a few today)

I got home from The propane people.
lovely bunch of chaps really. I might send them some cookies...poisoned ones.

I arrived home in a timely manner.
not really.

I really had to pee.
and by really I mean my bladder was about to fall to the floor and crawl into the sewer and bask it rotten goodness. I know, gross

I pulled into the parking lot to see a guy walking to his car. And an empty space right in front of my door.
I've become lazier.

So I stopped and waited for him to mosey over to his car. At this time Einstein decided to be polite and let me go, only he was standing in the spot that I wanted to park in. In all my non Einsteinian glory I pointed to the parking spot and grunted like a Neanderthal. He kept waving me past and I grunted some more and pointed to the spot. He looked around and took a step to the left side and waved me by again.
At this point I made that "Ahroo?" noise and cocked my head. Let me give you a visual.

Bare with me for I'm not computer smart, or at least I like to pretend I'm not. The line thingys { | | } are the parking lines. The H is a car. We'll mark Einstein with a big fat E.

|H| E | H | This was before he moved.

|H| E |H| That's where he moved. Not much difference I know.

So I; in all my Neanderthal way pulled into the spot. I didn't hit him!
Shocking, I know.

So with this victory I grabbed my soft tub spa thing from Krystal.
::Grunt Grunt:: turn tub into jet water ::grunt grunt::

And waddled my big fat butt up the stairs to my still not heated living quarters , and put the box down to open the door.
At this point things got messy.

I found the key on the chain of key-goodness and slid it into the deadbolt. It went in very easy. Then I went to turn it.

I wouldn't turn. I took the key out and looked at it. Yup it was the same key I used to lock the door, so that means it should unlock it right?

I slid it back in and tried again. No luck. I started grunting again and tried to turn it without breaking the key. I pulled it out again.
At this point my Neanderthal brain isn't comprehending anything, and is chanting "B and E; B and E!" for all you who lack in the Dan Cook department a B and E is Breaking and Entering. Aka Kicking down the door.

So I slid the key in and decided that the best answer for this would be to alternate pulling the key in and out while turning, maybe finding the "Sweet spot"

So, I proceeded to make Sweet Love to the dead bolt on the door. At least that's what it felt like I was doing, I came pretty close to sweet talking it when the click sounded and the key turned.
At this point i run into the house like it would close and lock on me again and start doing a victory dance.

I immediately IMed nick and this is the conversation we had.

Me (2:09:52 PM): I damn near just had to do a B and E on my own front door.

Me (2:10:33 PM): my effing key wouldn't turn and I was really confused cause it was the same key I used to lock the door!

Me (2:11:14 PM): if you lived anywhere near me I would have called you and had you come do a B and E, cause I probably would have just fallen over

Nick (2:13:48 PM): lol

Me (2:14:28 PM): Well I really had to pee...and my door wouldn't open...I had to wiggle the key in and out like I was making sweet love to the deadbolt and damn near came close to sweet talking it.

Nick (2:15:41 PM): ooo sweet love the dead bolt

Me (2:16:48 PM): yeah...it was selfish too, after it got off it let me in. What satisfaction did I get out of it?

Nick (2:17:02 PM): umm you got to pee
Nick (2:18:07 PM): Well, I'm off to find food in this institute of higher drinking education.

Yup. That's my nick. all grown up and going to college to learn how to drink. Good boy.
I mean...Bad boy...underage drinking is a BIG no no.

Not like everyone has done it once in their life, I did, I wont lie. But I was never irresponsible. I never left where ever I was, and I never let anyone drive anywhere near me.