What part of west coast DONT you understand?

Today is a zombie day I fear.

I've been sucked in.

As gasps fill the world your all probably wondering how this happened. Gather 'round little children and I'll tell you the great zombie story of 2008.

Last night was long. And by long I mean it went by fast in short bursts. But no long bursts. I stayed up to watch the 2 hour Hollywood episode of AMERICAN IDOL (Jackson got me addicted...) then I checked the T.V guide to see if by some miracle of god there was something good on. I checked the usual channels, Discovery, MTV, etc. Then I checked the Vs. Channel. Oh sweet jesus I got excited.

At this point I should mention that since moving out to California I have fallen in love with two sports I never thought I would actually like. NASCAR (Go Jr!!) and WEC (Go Urijah!)

Anyway, as I said I got excited for I saw the three magic words that light up my sports life. Scheduled, Urijah, and Faber. Yes that is right, Urijah Faber was fighting and he is by far my favorite fighter in the WEC. So I quickly changed the channel to watch the fight. Just in time too, it was just beginning. Then my heart sank, it was a repeat. I've seen this fight numerous times. What the hell? How come Urijah hasn't had any fights lately. I've come to the conclusion that it's because he's 20-1 and no one wants to fight him cause they would get one of his crazy elbows to the face. Which I will fill you in; I would not want to be on the receiving end of one of his elbows...or even one of his kicks.

Or anything violent from him actually.

So I watched the fight anyways to get my Urijah fix and the fight only went into the 2nd round (which was a first ever in Urijah history, he usually gets them all in Rear Naked Choke Hold in the first and then it's all over folks) And the fight ended about 11:00pm.

So I went to bed. But for some reason there was a little foot sticking out of my side and no matter how I pinched or tickled or poked it, it just wouldn't budge. So I thought I would be a smart mommy and roll over to the other side. No sooner had I rolled did the foot come out on the other side. Then he started rolling around and kicking, you the normal things babies do after listening to WEC. They wanna practice their unarmed combatives (UAC). Well Jarrid does at least. It's shown a pattern actually. He likes to practice his UAC, I don't mind it...as long as he leaves my bladder and kidneys alone. I fear he believes my bladder is a speed bag for him to practice on. Only when it's full though. Either that or sit on it. He likes to do that too.

So I spent all night tossing and turning getting short naps here and there. And then it happened. I woke up at 2:30am wide awake and not even wanting to fall back asleep. But I forced my self to close my eyes and I kinda just vegged for the next couple of hours. Until Jacksons alarm clock went off at 5:00am. At this point I here him mumble half a sleep, "Just five more minutes" I roll my eyes at this and hear the slamming of the snooze button. So I rolled over once again...with a foot still jammed into my side.

So after hitting the snooze button about half a dozen times Jackson decides that it is time to get up. So he gets up and turns on every light in the bedroom. For some reason those lights only seem to be bright first thing in the morning, but at night when you are trying to get ready for bed they are so dim you have to squint to see where you are going.

He got ready for work, we said our "I love you"s (Mushy I know) and he went to work. I rolled over again and thought to myself, "If that alarm clock goes off after I get comfortable I will rip it out of the wall" This is the part when Karma sneaks in and laughs evilly.

No sooner had I finished thinking it did the clock shatter the silence of the early morning with it's horrible BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

At this point I was finally getting tired again and just wanted to go to sleep. So I crawled across the bed to the alarm clock and hit the sleep button.

I fear I might need to educate Jackson on the difference between the Snooze and the Sleep button. The Snooze button is the big button that shuts the devil creature up for 9 minutes before it starts it's ritualistic chirping again, and the Sleep button is what silences the beast for another 24 hours before it starts it's devil worshiping again.

Can't they make an alarm clock that wakes you up with peaceful noises? And if they do, how can I acquire one to replace the satanic baby eating one that lives on our end table?

So I defeated the evil clock of doom and rolled over. I somehow fell asleep. I don't even remember closing my eyes. Guess I was tired. Then it happened.

A second Satanic Chirping sounded through my house, this time it was coming from my living room. I opened my eyes and looked at the demon clock which told me it was 7:30 am. I wondered how it was already 7:30 and then looked to the hallway. I debated getting up and answering phone and then realized that it might be Jackson who jokingly threw a fit yesterday cause I was napping and didn't get out of bed to answer the phone, which is another story.

Anyway I rolled my unhappy butt out of bed (which is proving to be more and more difficult everyday) and made my way down the hallway to the phone. I got there and picked up the screaming creature and looked at the caller ID. It stated US Government.

Ummm....I debated that if I answered the phone would the FBI show up and shank me, or if it would happen if I didn't answer the phone. Either way I was doomed, so I just hung it back up and walked away like it wasn't even ringing. After it stopped ringing I picked it up and walked back into the bedroom placing the phone on the window sill and laying back down in bed. I got comfortable (minus the foot still in my side) and was almost asleep when Satan started calling again. I rolled over and looked at the glowing caller ID. It said "mom" and started chirping like a dying sparrow (for some reason for numbers that are saved in our caller ID it makes a different ring) so I answered it and Jackson's mom was all chipper and stated that Krystal said she would go with us to the party store after dropping Taylor off at school.

Oh yeah...I had forgotten that we were going shopping for baby shower decorations this morning. I put on my awake voice and answered her and said that I would be right over.

And that is the story of my zombie, now I wait for 3:00pm to pick Jess and Alex up from school so that we can take them out to dinner for helping us so much this past weekend, and then Haul my butt down to Roseville to make my 3:45 appointment at the doctors office, which I will make them wait in the waiting room. Yes I'm a horrible person...lol

As I sit here I will wait for the foot to still be removed from my side.